• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 845 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Terrified of being diagnosed

Jan65

I'm 58 years old and I have been in touch with Lexxic, a neurodiversity organisation who test people for dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, ADHD and autism.  They want to test me for dyslexia, dyspraxia and autism.  I'm terrified of being diagnosed with autism in case I'm misunderstood, misjudged or face stigma.  If I get a diagnosis, I want to be treated with dignity and respect like any other human being.  Even if I am different in some way or have problems or difficulties with certain things, I want to be seen as a whole person.  To me I'm a human being first and having any of these neurodiversity conditions would come second to that.

  • I always wondered why I struggled, I developed the impression that everyone else had similar problems to me, but were much better at coping with them. At 59 I worked out that I was probably autistic, and was duly diagnosed. I have to say that it was a wonderful epiphany for me. I was autistic, and the problems I had on a day-to-day basis just did not exist for most people. Rather than being someone who was just poor at being a human being, I was autistic and doing a remarkable job at existing in a society that was quite hostile to me. I am happy to be an autistic person, we have had a positive impact on society out of all proportion to our numbers. 

  • in reply to mrs.snooks

    That's a good point, nobody has to come out about any diagnosis.  If you suspect it won't help to tell family/friends/relatives then best to keep it to yourself.

  • Hello, an welcome.  I understand the fear of negative consequences, but those can happen without diagnosis in my experience.

    Don't think about what might happen, and just see what the tests say first.  Any diagnosis is for your benefit, help you understand yourself and may allow you to access things you need, or support, or other things in the future.

    That is the correct attitude to have, you are a human above all else, and assert that at all times - forget the in-human humans, all you can do is develop a shield, or try to enlighten them.

  • Hi Jan65, I am 50 year old autistic woman and I can you probably see from my posts, I do struggle on a day to day basis with the knowledge of being autistic. 

    I have not really come out to my family or friends, and I think this is hard to do now that I am the age I am. 

    I think the reason I have not come out is because of my fear of the stigma and how I would be treated. So despite being diagnosed, it hasn't had the same consequences as if I had come out as autistic.

    The thing that has been helpful for me is that it explains so much about the problems I've had over my life and therefore I can come to terms with how my life is. I've become more accepting of how things have turned out.

    Whether you decide to continue down your diagnosis route or not, I wish you well for the future. 

    And leave you with this quote:

    The privilege of being oneself is a gift many taken for granted, but for an autistic person, being allowed to be oneself is the greatest and rarest gift of all

    [NB the original quotation refers to 'someone with AS']

    The quotation is taken from Alyssa Aleksanian's Chapter entitled 'Opening the Umbrella':

    Beardon, L. and Worton, D. (Eds) (2017). Bittersweet on the Autism Spectrum. London: Jessica Kingsley.