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Need some help with understanding.

NAS78181

Hello.

I am happy that I came across this website. 

I am in a relationship with a guy that is autistic. We almost live together now. There have been som difficulties with communication. I have read all there is about autism. Btw he has high functioning autism.  I am here for him 24/7 and I love him very much. I have a hard time to tell him my needs, without talking about feelings to him. How can i tell him my needs so he understands ? He has become so distant and i feel like i am his 2. priority in life. I am struggeling to tell him things. 

Hope to hear from you.

Have a lovely day!

Parents

  • Thank you for your reply. This helps alot. 

    So if i just make a list of things i need in a relationship. Not a long list.

    I need hugs to feel safe in a relationship. This is an example of what i want to write to him. 

    Sticking to appointments and so on.

    Will this be understood? 

    I am personally stuggeling because i feel he has distanced himself from me. And therefore in this special time i need to feel safe. 

    Again thank you for your time Slight smile

  • in reply to NAS78181

    It is entirely possible that he has no knowledge of your difficulties, as he may not be equipped to recognise them. So telling him directly is probably the only way he will find out. Most autistics deal with higher than average levels of stress and anxiety, we become fairly good at coping strategies. If you find the lack of physical displays of affection and not being available or on time for appointments anxiety causing, he will probably understand your need for his active input.

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  • in reply to NAS78181

    It is entirely possible that he has no knowledge of your difficulties, as he may not be equipped to recognise them. So telling him directly is probably the only way he will find out. Most autistics deal with higher than average levels of stress and anxiety, we become fairly good at coping strategies. If you find the lack of physical displays of affection and not being available or on time for appointments anxiety causing, he will probably understand your need for his active input.

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