Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I was only recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, It was six years ago and only recently have I taken the diagnosis very seriously.
Some sort of enlightenment has dawned but one behaviour I have that may or may not be stimming is thumb sucking, it is usually only something I do asleep, which is where my ego has no control, but, on public transport, which I use but little, I find I want to suck my thumb maybe to reduce stress, and I do feel that people bite their nails or smoke in public so why should I desist?
I know that the wider public considers the habit rather odd in a person of my age but would the enforced discontinuation of it be masking?
When using computers, which I hate, it is also better to suck rather than shout I find.
I have of course repeatedly had the New Year Resolution of I really must stop sucking my thumb many times, except once in about 1998 in Eskdale where I pointedly sucked my thumb at a New Year's Day Party. Is it O.K. to do this, is it stimming or is it just flagrant attention seeking? The fact that I do it more often in private does suggest that it is more than an affectation but another inescapable fact is that it is corrosive to self esteem and that this is not entirely down to negative public reaction.
Some public reaction, funnily enough, was quite supportive, but never it there ever going to be a thumb sucking pride parade unless some toddlers get strangely politically aware.
Well I was just wondering if anyone else here had seen or heard of this as a stimming behaviour? The internet is very wide of course and so I have come across an autistic thumb sucker or two who was an adult, but that maybe nothing to do with autism.
Hmm, aI sucked my index finger as a child, but never as an adult. I prefer to bite and pick all digits!
But, my ex husband used to suck his thumb. He didn’t ever do it in public, but around close family he often would. He isn’t Autistic, but we do suspect he’s ND. (Probable ADHD, dyslexia)
It sounds like the social acceptability thing happened to you, you compromised and moved on to something no less observable like nail biting which is answering I think the same need. There are some statistics on thumb sucking that say around ten percent of adults do it for whatever reasons but you never see them much in public, I tend to come across another very five years or so and I have only known one who had the force of character to do it everywhere and anywhere. The figure of ten percent might be high as the statistics are always voluntary and self reported, some claim that they do it and do not and some will disclaim when they do, but it really must be down to the fact that people do give funny looks and sometimes even laugh or get angry and this is no good if the behaviour is a stim I think. Hiding the behaviour is a form of masking maybe? Which would increase stress.
I keep getting told by medical and psychiatric professionals, oh it's o.k. to do it, so long as it is not in public, which is exactly where I find the most urges to do it. If it's O.k. surely that means anywhere, even a top level business meeting or a world peace conference?
Many Thanks for taking the trouble to reply, I thought that nobody would.
I didn’t compromise. I was a very small child, and my father told me to stop doing it, so I had too. You did what your were told in my house. My finger was calloused, and my front tooth was wonky because of it.
Recent memories surfaced whilst I was analysing myself prior to my assessment, and I remembered that he had also stopped me flicking my fingers, and rocking onto the back of the sofa….
Whats interesting is that his brother is Autistic. He was put into a mental institution when he was 15, and was only diagnosed with Autism about 10 years ago. I think he must be around 60yrs old now. When he visited us when I was a child, he flicked his fingers a lot and rocked violently. Maybe this is why my father told me not to do it; in case I ended up in an institution too?
As for the advice given to you, why should you not do it in public? It’s not hurting anyone else. People will only look. If they laugh, it’s only because they feel unsure and don’t know why you’d do it. It would be nice for someone to come over and ask you, and then you tell them why. Simple.
Oh sorry I did not read his brother right, I saw ...my brother and so I concluded that you were about my age and in fact you must be a lot younger. Non verbal, oh that is a long way from me or you, but a part of the spectrum. I myself was in one of those half way houses and in many ways it was a lot better than my current standard issue one bedroom urban flat. Which is at least the best it could possibly be in a delightful town.
They are a lot better than the wards, but the usual way is to move the residents into independent living, I saw that ruin the recovery of one schizophrenic I knew. Same blind dead state run machine everywhere. With a little luck your Uncle will stay halfway into this world? Or am I assuming too much?
I have two brothers out in the world doing all the over achieving for me.
Thanks for your response. Makes interesting reading.
Oh, it’s my dads brother, (my uncle).I don’t have any brothers sadly, just 3 sisters lol.
I only saw my uncle once in a blue moon. He was pretty scary to me when I was tiny, but as I approached junior age, it was fine. I knew he was mentally ‘all there’, and hated the idea of him being institutionalised. He is non verbal so never said anything other than our names once.
I don’t have anything to do with my father, so do not know of my uncles whereabouts. Last I heard he was in a half way type assisted living home, which is far better than what he’s been used to in the past.
Thanks, yes I remember rocking too, bouncing my back on the sofa and my disapproving aunt would say...
god bless her, she is gone now...'there is something lacking in a child that does that!' She was a good old soul really with not many stars of good parenting to guide her, over stiffened in her attitude by too much moral fibre, she had a good brain though as she went to the London school of economics.
Yes I agree, your pa just wanted to keep you out of the back wards as my Aunt had only my best interests in mind, but, of all tyrannies the very worst is that sincerely exercised for the benefit of its recipient, as the moral busy bodies that apply it do so with a clear conscience, and so will with the best of intentions torment without end.
Yes I was fed up with being told ...oh that's o.k. just don't let it show...and that might be masking and therefore stressful, I guess it is not my embarrassment that is the problem it is other peoples, but when I have been very low and depressed I have said to some of the fellow travellers...do you mind if I suck my thumb?
Like smokers used to and I only did it twice or so but they always said...yes that is fine...each to their own.
In this recent pandemic we had to wear masks on public transport and so mine had the words THUMB SUCKER in capital letters all over it. It was a way to let people know that was socially acceptable, once again some people laughed, but as yet no-one has asked and boy did my heart race first time I used it.
That is the funny thing about doing the deed in public, it is really an attempt to relax and shut out the world but first before that can happen I need to brave the world's fascination or contempt which can take unwelcome forms, most just do not look or make a look of not caring and I wonder if those that stop and stare only do it because they do it themselves. I remember with great clarity the first time I saw someone older than me doing it openly in public in Weymouth. A year or so later was my first experiment with going public, everyone at home was saying...oh please stop that...maybe that is why I took my thumb sucking pride campaign onto the streets!
Thank you again for your effort in replying, have you maintained any contact with your brother?