Shutdowns

i understand what you mean, i don’t get shutdowns very often but after recovering from a meltdown i sort of feel...free? without the ability to mask its like i can actually be myself 

Yes I completely understand what you mean about how you feel after meltdowns. It almost feels like I have no energy left in order to mask. I will explain shutdowns- shutdowns are an internalised response to stress that happen when processing load exceeds capacity. They happen because you have suppressed your natural responses to your environment (masking) and therefore you don’t know or recognise how you feel. You shutdown in order to protect yourself from more overload.

Thanks, I really appreciate your response. It shouldn’t take a meltdown or shutdown in order to be our innate autistic selves though.

you’re completely right, it’s wrong that we feel we cannot be ourselves. Also, thank you so much for the explanation! Upon reflection I’ve realised I do actually experience shutdowns but never had a name for how I was feeling until know so thank you

you’re completely right, it’s wrong that we feel we cannot be ourselves. Also, thank you so much for the explanation! Upon reflection I’ve realised I do actually experience shutdowns but never had a name for how I was feeling until know so thank you

You are very welcome, knowledge is everything. Once you have  sufficient language to describe the autistic experience, it is so much easier to accept yourself and self advocate.