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Hi, I'm new ... well sort of

WSM Fan Girl

Hi Everyone,

I thought I'd come on here & say hello; I haven't posted before, because I don't really know what to say, & unlike the spoken word, I can't just blather on & bore people, I needed to have something to say ... So here we go:

I'm 48 years old, married 18 for years, we have a 26 year old daughter, & I work as a cleaner in a cold store; it's the first job I have kept since being made redundant in January 2018 when Carillion collapsed, I got through about 30 jobs (failing probation due to not fitting in, being too lively, just not grasping the job, or taking time off due to Burnout, but not really knowing that it was Burnout) but I've been here where I work for almost 8 months now, & I love the job, the people, & my manager absolutely understands me - he has systems in place to ensure I get the help & support I need if & when I need it.

I joined in December 2020, because I was going down the route of trying to get a diagnosis - I am still no further ahead than I was back then, because our GP Surgery (which is directly opposite our house) is next to useless & I've seen a GP once since Christmas 2019, when the subject of ASD, ME/CFS & Perimenopause was mentioned in relationship to getting some sort of 'Clarity' but ever since the start of COVID my diagnosis, or even questions have been put on a back burner, & now I need to start all over again, because all the GP's from back then have long since quit our surgery & moved elsewhere.

I intend to make 2022 about getting Me sorted out, I have been researching ASD, reading plenty of material & trying new ways to take care of myself, I'm still into Powerlifting & Indoor Cycling, I have recently upgraded my Spin Bike to an Assault Bike & I'm so happy with it. My husband was very poorly recently & that was a bit of a shock for us both, & it made us realise that we spend so much time focusing on work, the house, our daughter (going through a break up) & each other that we had forgotten about ourselves, so that is why I'm back, looking into some self care & self appreciation.

If you're still here, I thank you for reading this far, & I hope to exchange messages with you in the future ... take care everyone & love to you all.

  • Hi and welcome, hope you get the help you need from your GP although there are a number of us that have either given up or not got the diagnosis who jut know what we are so don't feel that you need a piece of paper to fit in we are very welcoming to all who support each other.

  • in reply to WSM Fan Girl

    I'm glad you enjoy your job.  I am not doing what I trained to do either.  I mostly accept that, but sometimes I get a bit upset.

  • in reply to WSM Fan Girl

    I was the same - hated cardio but needed the exercise and I've always enjoyed lifting and challenging myself. I did have a garage gym but it's now been overtaken by workshop but I would really like to get back into lifting.

    We've got tickets to a few events this year as I've just got the rest of the family into strongman - we're going to the Strongman Classic at the Royal Albert Hall in June and the Open/Deadlift championships in Cardiff in August. One day I'd love to get the VIP tickets and go and meet some of the athletes - My Son (diagnosed) and I (currently on the waiting list) would really like to meet the Stoltman brothers.  

  • in reply to WSM Fan Girl

    Exhaustion is common place for us, we spend all day filtering social and sensory stuff. Energy accounting is a great idea to help, but it does rather depend on having the luxury of time.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Hi Dawn,

    Thank you, yes the Perimenopause is worse than puberty ever was, I breezed through that if I remember rightly. Honestly the doctors will not look beyond my age, & 2 diagnoses of ME/CFS, but what they're failing to grasp is the exhaustion is not isolated, it is triggered after stressful (to me) situations, like my hubby's illness & redundancy followed by frequent rejection for simply allowing myself to be myself, it's a pattern & I could literally sit here & type it all out, but I'm guessing most of us here already know the pattern, hence why we're here.

    I am usually a very upbeat person (that's my biggest failure according to many previous employers) & positive, so I do apologise if my message seemed negative, it really wasn't meant to be - I am generally happy, just worried about my hubby at present.

    I will definitely come here to air my frustrations, rather than Facebook, as I know people here will get me, my NT friends are awesome, but I'm exhausting at times, I know that, so I limit my interactions with people now for that reason, it saves mine & their sanity LOL

    Stay Strong, Stay Safe & Stay Spicy, wishing you peace, love & kindness from WSM Fan Girls xXx

  • in reply to Luftmentsch

    Hi Luftmentsch,

    I am not doing what I was trained to do - I did my trying in facilities management, but now I'm a cleaner & love it; I don't fit into the office environment because I'm too loud & excitable at times, nor would I be any good working in the freezers & chillers because I am sensitive to changing temperatures. I clean the offices, toilets & dining areas, I work at my pace, to my schedule, I turn up between 8-9am & leave 6 hours later, no one hassles me, I occasionally get asked to do extras, or told about blocked loos, or spilled fluids, but other than that, I'm just Theresa the cleaner who chats to everyone, helps everyone, & makes a mean cuppa!

    I'm hoping to change surgeries once my hubby is over whatever is wrong at present, so I will keep people posted!

    Stay Strong, Stay Safe & Stay Spicy, wishing you peace, love & kindness from WSM Fan Girls xXx

  • in reply to L

    Hi L

    Thank you, yes finding this job was purely accidental - I was sent to the wrong address by the agency, & here I am almost 8 months later, on the payroll & fitting in with a bunch of reprobates that make me feel like I'm the sanest one amongst them LOL

    I'm sorry that so many people have experienced difficulties with a formal diagnosis, but I guess it also makes me feel like I'm not alone in this struggle to be taken seriously as a 40+ woman, who works, drives & has brought another human being up into this crazy world - because it seems that if we don't fit into their little tick boxes, then we're a write off.

    Hubby is doing OK, he's just waiting for more tests, thankfully it's not cancer, but it's something & the hospital are trying to work out what.

    Stay Strong, Stay Safe & Stay Spicy, wishing you peace, love & kindness from WSM Fan Girls xXx

  • in reply to Spreadsheets&Pizza

    Hi Spreadsheets&Pizza,

    Thank is such a cool name!

    Yes WSM is World's Strongest Man - I wondered if people would get it, I am an absolute meathead, I love lifting heavy stuff & even though I have sold all my Olympic gear I still have loads of dumbbells & kettlebells, I find lifting is my 'Happy place' no matter what else is going on in the world, lifting makes me feel safe & happy ... I go down to my basement & just blast some tunes & sweat it out.

    Stay Strong, Stay Safe & Stay Spicy, wishing you peace, love & kindness from WSM Fan Girls xXx

  • in reply to Meeples

    Hi Mimi,

    I completely agree, the doctors don't want to know if they can't just write you a prescription & send you on your merry way - I'm considering going private, but that is a decision for me & my hubby, so until his health is back on track I think it will have to wait, I've got to 48 without a diagnosis, so another bit of waiting won't be the end of the world.

    Stay Strong, Stay Safe & Stay Spicy, wishing you peace, love & kindness from WSM Fan Girls xXx

  • The community is here. So glad you finally have a boss that gets it. Mine does and he's like pure gold.

    Hope your GP pulls his/her finger out. Perimenopause / menopause can be mixed up with this. It does do a number on us older autistic women.

    Chin up, stay positive. Vent at us when you need to x

  • Hi!  I'm pleased you have found permanent employment.  I've also had a long struggle to find somewhere suitable for me, and where I am currently is not where I expected to be.

    Good luck with getting diagnosed.  I found it hard even with a supportive GP.

  • Hello and welcome. It's great you've found a job you enjoy so much and there understanding. Really good to know.

    I'm sorry your having difficulties with the diagnosis. Mine was a nightmare as well. Uh hated it, so stressful. 

    Best of luck with your goals this year! 

    And I hope your husband is ok now and your daughter is doing well.

  • Hi and welcome to the group. I used to do powerlifting as my main source of exceeding. Still got everything in the garage and need to clear a bit of space so I can rebuild my rack and start lifting again. Is the WSM in your screen name Worlds Strongest Man?

  • Hello and welcome. So glad to hear that you've found a job that you enjoy and that has supportive, understanding people. That's really great.  

    Sorry you're having a tough time getting assessed. Dealing with the GP can be really tough. Our doctors are really dismissive especially, and I know this sounds harsh, if its about something they can't just write a prescription for. I dared to mention perimenopause once and was told "well that can last for years, what do you expect us to do about it?". I left feeling like I shouldn't said anything and like I was making a fuss over nothing. And that was before Covid, you can't even see a GP there anymore.

    Good luck with your 2022 goals. I hope your husband has recovered from being poorly and that your daughter has managed to get through her breakup okay.

    Take care.