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question about diagnosis/parenting

NAS77838

Hi,

I'm currently being assessed and think it highly likely I will be diagnosed as autistic. Its not to late though to stop the process. I'm worried if I am diagnosed what affect it might have on me as a parent. Can my ex with whom I have children, for example, use a diagnosis of autism as a leverage in child custody? 

Thanks.

Parents

  • Hi there,

    Firstly, it will be entirely your business who you tell about your autism.  It's none of your ex's business and if he doesn't know, he can't use that information.

    Secondly, being autistic does NOT mean you are a bad parent and should have nothing to do with it anyway.  If your children have traits or are on the Spectrum, you may in fact be the best possible parent that kid could ever have because you 'get it'.  And anyway, I raised a lovely NT lad all on my own, we are close and he's done great. The courts would only ever be interested in whether the needs of your kids are being met. Had I been diagnosed earlier and my ex had known, sure he'd want to exploit that information.  But the truth is he won't ever know, if you don't tell him.

    Personally, I wouldn't deny yourself all the benefits of a proper diagnosis because of worries about your ex.

    Hope that helps

Reply

  • Hi there,

    Firstly, it will be entirely your business who you tell about your autism.  It's none of your ex's business and if he doesn't know, he can't use that information.

    Secondly, being autistic does NOT mean you are a bad parent and should have nothing to do with it anyway.  If your children have traits or are on the Spectrum, you may in fact be the best possible parent that kid could ever have because you 'get it'.  And anyway, I raised a lovely NT lad all on my own, we are close and he's done great. The courts would only ever be interested in whether the needs of your kids are being met. Had I been diagnosed earlier and my ex had known, sure he'd want to exploit that information.  But the truth is he won't ever know, if you don't tell him.

    Personally, I wouldn't deny yourself all the benefits of a proper diagnosis because of worries about your ex.

    Hope that helps

Children
  • in reply to Dawn

    Thanks Dawn :) Our youngest child has been diagnosed with autism and and I have traits that were picked up on. So they thought it would be good for me to be tested too. My ex is also being tested! I don’t like lying and I’m not sure saying I don’t want to share this with you would be appreciated. But perhaps if I carry on with this and am diagnosed then saying it was undecided is an option. Maybe!