I can't feel anything when I kiss someone.

Okay, this is a sensitive subject for me but it's something I have lived with for around 20 years. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2019 after feeling different for pretty much my entire adult life. Before the diagnosis I thought it was just something wrong with me but I wondered if it was linked to my autism. When I kiss a woman i don't feel any tingles or whatever I'm meant to feel ( it's been so long ) I am 40 now but i can remember a time that I did feel something. I was 15 when i had my first kiss and spent about 30 mins stalling because I was so nervous but when I did it felt nice. I think I first noticed that i didn't feel the same sensations when I was 19. At the time I just thought maybe I didn't fancy the girl but every relationship after was the same. I was always too ashamed to say anything to my partners at the time so I just got on with it. I have recently separated from my partner and mother to our 3 children, we are still staying friends but she was the only person I have told about my problem because I couldn't pretend anymore and she deserved the truth. Now I worry about possible future relationships because I can't see how it will ever change. I just wondered if anyone else had a similar issue as mine so I know it isn't just me Slight smile

  • I totally agree. I did it because it’s what you do but always felt like I was a fraud by pretending to enjoy it. I would find reasons not to do it until I couldn’t take it anymore and had to tell her the truth. 

  • I don't know, but I think talking to a therapist who specializes relationship or sex would be helpful. But I know it takes courage and preparation in orded to be opdn about this.

  • I don't really get kissing.  I do it because that is what you do but I could never understand these songs that keep going on about kissing being so amazing.  It's not unpleasant but neither is it something I particularly go out of my way to do.  With my wife now we don't do too much kissing beyond a kiss goodnight or one in the morning - more to show a bit of affection really.

  • Maybe you're just missing the anticipation phase prior to the kiss? I mean, a peck-on-the-cheek or something similar isn't really going to generate much feeling, other than they are acknowledging that they care about you.