Repetitive behaviours and restricted interests in childhood - girls

Oh  that's so interesting about the dolls. This makes me remember that I used to have these mini baby born dolls which came with these boxes and accessories (eg. like a room) and when I played with these I loved building different house and room combinations, staking the boxes and positioning furniture... but I never did any role play... would not have occured to me. 

And now that you mention it, I also collected these little animal figures which I liked to sort and arrange in different manners... I had completely forgotten.

I occasionally played with other children- when I did it was usually of school on a one to one basis mainly (my mum sorted out most of my social contacts- eg. kids of her friends) and we would play very elaborate imaginative games (like fictive worlds)- but always the same game with the same friend. So with these 2 sisters I always played this dragon fantasy world game. Whilst with an other friend we played this "let's pretend we are native americans game". 

My interests as a kid were "normal" in that they were all things other girls do, dolls, drawing...

They key lies in how you engaged with those interests and the difference might be quite subtle. My activities with dolls for instance...there was lots and lots of washing them, dressing them, making clothes or dolls houses out of shoe boxes for them, and constantly re-arranging them and their stuff, but no pretend or role play and no inclination to interact with other girls and their dolls. I'd play nicely beside other girls rather than with them.

If there were a series of dolls such as the Pipa dolls, I want to collect them all, of course and line them up smarty together.

Likewise with my bedroom, I always had that in perfect order - a mother's dream, lol. She never had to clean or tidy my room, 'cos I'd already done it. I couldn't bare disorder.

I loved my pens and pencils, I'd arrange all the colours in order...browns and yellows together from dark to light. Sometimes I'd mix them up for the pleasure of sorting them out again. I loved to colour, but more than pictures, l loved the colouring books that were repetitive patterns that were popular in the 70s. And I really loved Spirograph. See simple normal things, but repetitive patterns and a need for order are dominating and pleasurable and way more so than interactive, social play.

Have a real deep think about what you played and how. The evidence may well be there, but in subtle ways and that an untrained eye from the outside might just never see.

Hi, I am actually also waiting to be assessed - For me realising that I am probably autistic is still a very recent revelation but what I have found is that it can be very hard to see those "autistic traits" in yourself as that is all you have known - when I was reading about autism in women I thought that a lot of the traits described sounded very normal... for example I hadn't realised that not everyone is so intensely focused on their interests as I am. Plus, I realised now that almost all of my handful of friends are also neurodivergent...  so it is likely you might not recognise some of the traits in yourself. 

Also it is a spectrum so there is a lot of diversity and not everyone has all of the traits. 

I think especially with interests it is hard to define what is 'repetitive/obsessive...' , especially when thinking back to childhood. 

As for examples from my own childhood in terms of interests- When I was very young I think it was marine biology (i had loads of books on this and was fascinated by it- I even remember getting into an argument with my teacher who claimed whale sharks do not exist- they do...), then reading (I got through 1 book every 2 days on average or so when I was in primary school and early secondary school), possibly Harry Potter (though again lots of children are very interested in this- i reread them a lot though and engaged in other ways). And from around age 13 I became interested in biology and science and this has been my main special interest now for years and it is actually turning into my career. I end up getting so hyperfocused on this interest that nothing else seems to matter... 

Good luck with your assessment! 

Hope your assessment went well. I am also looking for more experiences from women/people raised as girls.

My experiences in case this helps anyone. I need to get it out.

I thought I didn't stim but my mum says I did flap my hands when I was very young but it "went away". I read unusually early and adults found me to be unnervingly observant from a young age. I developed the impulse to crack most of my joints and did that all the time and was often told off for it but still do it. I think that is suppressed stimming. I also ran around on my tip toes but eventually stopped - I was so shocked when I found out this really specific thing was a possible sign of autism in children. All my behaviours seemed "nipped in the bud" very early as I was a very sensitive child trying to please the adults.

I thought I played "normally" and didn't "line up toys" but I realise now I enjoyed setting up a scene rather than playing. I'd arrange mine or my brothers toys into an elaborate stage... the imaginative play was then for him to take the lead on. I did join in with imaginative play but usually peripherally, taking on minor roles and feeling like I couldn't get into it as much as the others. Always felt like I was observing my peers from the other side of some glass or something. I also think I was able to navigate the simple social lives of children but once you approach puberty and things start to get a bit more complex... I've honestly been struggling to fit in ever since. 

I thought I wasn't that repetitive. I just thought everyone suppressed the urge to replay a song or rewatch something or say a phrase over and over. I thought "thats just what kids do" and that being an adult is about suppressing your childlike urges all the time. Haha NOPE! Turns out I'm allowed to do the same thing over and over and enjoy it. 

Hi, I'm about to talk to my GP about referral for diagnosis at 61. I read early, spoke late, had loads of phobias and meltdowns and screamed at noises as well as soiling myself most days at school. I'd definitely have had a referral to an Ed Psych these days!  But back then if you were clever it made up for everything else.

I was diagnosed earlier this week at the Lorna Wing Centre in Essex. I didn't have a huge amount of information from my childhood, but just gave the information that I had, and some things did come back to me during the assessment. I have always had numbers and patterns in my head, and did mainly structured activities, like Meccano and board games, rather than imaginary play.

I thought I would be really nervous, but I had to explain all my difficulties so that they could use the information to make a decision, and as I had waited over 3 years, (told at a local pre-assessment that I was anxious, then had to be referred out of county, then the pandemic and lockdown) I just had to get on with it, this was my day to get answers.

Good luck with your assessment.

Thanks for replying. You actually sound a lot like me when I was a kid - with regards talking early, reading early, not talking to adults. I had one best friend who I stuck to, and loved creative thing like writing, drawing, painting, playing instruments. Good to know you were able to get the diagnosis without all that much info from childhood, and not the classic repetitive behaviours and interests. 

Oh wow! I resonate with almost all of this. My mother had said the same about me. 

Although I had 2 imaginary friends and preferred to play with them alone.

I was pretty much totally mute anywhere outside my own house, until around 8 years old. 

I had mine the other week. I bought in some text from my mum, as well as my younger sister.  My mum couldn’t remember much, just that I spoke early, read early, spelt early, well above my sister who was 3 years older. She said I was stubborn, blunt, wilful, didn’t speak to adults, only had a friend or two…was very clever, 

I remembered things, like how but I was a bit ‘bad’ at school now and again, but my parents never got told, as I was a model student otherwise. I guess these were meltdowns, because I didn’t know what I was doing at the time, but as soon as I saw the aftermath I was really frightened. I used to daydream a lot, which stopped me learning stuff I found boring,

My interests were all encompassing, but were mostly drawing and writing….creative things. I had favourite TV shows I would watch all the time, and knew all the words etc. I didn’t play imaginatively. I collected things, didn’t like people touching them. 

Im still trying to recall stuff now, as I am able to provide more info as I wish, it’s just hard looking specifically for signs in those early years.

As an adult, there is no criteria for diagnosis, and it is still possible without too much childhood info. Family also diagnosed can help your case.

I had shut down. To express, question, accidentally be too pragmatic was met with something dreadful or fearful. I was a shell of my being.

Now, though, after going through quite a bit to become me, I shall be as repetitive as I wish.