I am scared all the time, and I am afraid that I hide it, by putting on that pretend armour. However, when it gets too much, I avoid things. This means that I struggle to get out of the house, and just walking down the street causes an adrenalin rush. Because of this, I currently can't maintain full time employment. I do, however, have a 7 hour a week, working from home job, which props up my ESA slightly - it is permitted work, and is basically pocket money. Still, it is a job, and I am very grateful. It gives me something else to focus on, but the anxiety sometimes prevents me from doing anything. I am tense all the time, and have lost the ability to relax. I am waiting for some CBT therapy to deal with this (my third round of therapy in two years), but I am not holding my breath.
I am scared all the time, and I am afraid that I hide it, by putting on that pretend armour. However, when it gets too much, I avoid things. This means that I struggle to get out of the house, and just walking down the street causes an adrenalin rush. Because of this, I currently can't maintain full time employment. I do, however, have a 7 hour a week, working from home job, which props up my ESA slightly - it is permitted work, and is basically pocket money. Still, it is a job, and I am very grateful. It gives me something else to focus on, but the anxiety sometimes prevents me from doing anything. I am tense all the time, and have lost the ability to relax. I am waiting for some CBT therapy to deal with this (my third round of therapy in two years), but I am not holding my breath.
