Do I tell my clients that I'm autistic?

I've been so, so lucky in that respect.

My boss is a big cuddly bare of a neurotypical guy.  He's so sweet.  But he used to be a teacher dealing with kids on the spectrum all the time.

I'd been ill for so long and he was so supportive.  When I finally figured out that autism could possibly be underlying my problems, I told him.  He recognised it straight away actually and he was so supportive the whole way through the assessment process.   

I only have a few years left to retirement, but I don't want to work anywhere else now. Love my job

To the actual discussion... I can understand the dilemma, I can see it may be helpful, but also question the NEED to do disclose it. Id also urge caution, as if you do, and by no means is this universal, but there are a few people who may well use this to their advantage. Few and far between perhaps, but they do exist.

That's a good way of thinking about it. I work in design, so attention to detail is certainly key, which is one of the reasons I'm not ruling out disclosing it. But I really don't want it to come across as a disclaimer or a way of promoting myself.

Cheers

That sounds like a healthy work environment you're in. That's the sort of freedom and understanding I'm hoping to achieve I think.

If you're doing contract work that's not very people focused then I wouldn't. People don't really want to know personal details of the people who say, mend their car or fix there pipes. Sure if you get chatting and it comes up I don't see the harm in mentioning it but you don't want to put it into your opening speal it'll sound too much like a disclaimer. If you're work is very person focused, say you work as an entertainer for hire, clown at kids birthday parties etc, then it might be worth mentioning because it gives them a sense of the kind of service you provide. Especially if its the kind of work where attention to detail is key.

Yeah I get that.

But yeah, 1% of the population have a diagnosis, but there are more of us than that out there.  I'll bet you have a few clients who are either on the Spectrum or else have someone close to them who is.

I work in a team of 11.  Two of us are diagnosed ASD and another with diagnosed kids has worked out both she and her husband are too, they just haven't bothered getting that officially diagnosed themselves, and another has a partner waiting for an assessment.  We're all very open about it.

LOL it makes for amusing moments in office meetings when the jokes have by passed one or other of us, but seriously helps because nobody minds if we pipe up "Sorry, too many inputs at once there, just go over that again", or get a bit blunt, albeit polite, with our honesty.

Good luck with it, whatever you decide.  

Thank you. Congratulations on getting the job!

The best outcome would be that being able to drop my mask a little would make me less anxious when dealing with clients. I get a lot of panic attacks when talking to clients, even existing clients on the phone, so I hope it would reduce those or at least help people understand why I needed 15 minutes to compose myself.

I get imposter syndrome sometimes, but I'm confident in my abilities and output and my clients are happy with my work. So you make a great point raising the question 'why?'. Interesting to view it from the client perspective. I hadn't really considered that and it's such an important thing to do. Thank you.

It's one thing to tell an employer, because the way they deal with you is much more highly regulated.  Telling a client, in a situation where you constantly have re-sell your services, is an entirely different thing.  If you're self employed you have to do new job interviews, in effect, all the time.

I recently got a job moving down tomorrow I told my work I have it and there quite accommodating so it's really up to you if you wish to tell them

Thanks Dawn.

I work in design. As it's a creative field I feel like being autistic will be more widely accepted by people.

I didn't for one minute consider that some of my clients would be on the spectrum, but you're absolutely right. I know one of my clients suffers from anxiety too, and we have talked briefly about it which really helped me feel more at ease with them knowing about my anxiety.

I could get advice on who I should tell, but I like the idea of either being an openly autistic designer, or not telling anyone at all. I would feel bad if I told someone 3 projects in that I was autistic because they might not feel I have been honest with them.

I don't want to give away all my secrets. Lol.

The question is, if you tell them, what outcome do you expect from that conversation?

I'm in professional services, also now self employed, and I wouldn't go near it. 

Not because I have anything to be ashamed of, but because I find it difficult to see any benefits to me in doing so. 

There are many other aspects of my psyche and health profile that I don't tell them, either, by the way.  I've got a broken toe, an itchy mole, a damaged immune system, and quite a few things going on inside my head which need to be managed.  I don't tell them any of that, so why on earth would I tell them I'm autistic?  

Their expectation of me is that I understand their business model and their objectives, and that I help them to achieve those objectives using my skills, expertise, capabilities and experience.  I'd find it hard to see where a discussion about one random element of my health profile / psyche fits into that.

I would tell them if I caught Covid, because that has practical implications in terms of the work I can do for them and the contact I can have with them.  The fact that I'm autistic has nothing to do with the work and is none of their business.   

If the conversation is with a friend or relative, then you might expect a supportive response and you might tell them for reasons which are primarily emotional.  But it's a business conversation, and the only non-business issues I'd discuss with clients are light hearted ones to break the ice at the start of a meeting. 

If they're clients, you want them to focus on your ability to do the business, deliver value, and generate results. And nothing else. The more personal complexity you volunteer, the more time they'll spend thinking about that, and the less time they'll spend thinking about how damned good you are.

If you're a service provider, don't be complicated - be simple, easy to deal with, and focused.   Let them think "I'll call Tonik, they'll solve it no time."  You don't want them to think "Oh, hell, I'm gonna have to call Tonik, then I'll get a long list of all their life challenges.  I haven't time for all that ... actually, I'd better look for someone less complicated."

The outcome you presumably want from any dialogue with them is business-related; why burden them with a lot of personal stuff which has nothing to do with the business?

What do you do?

It might depend on what your relationship with them is like and the answer might be different in each case.  Some folks don't care who's providing it, they just want the goods or service.  Some folks like to build rapport with the people who they deal with.  Some I dare say would appreciate all that extra effort and attention to detail and be curious about how your autism helps you produce that, some might be more understanding of the anxieties in the social part of the process.  Others, I guess might not get it at all and have all sorts of misconceptions about what autism is.  Of course, you might have some clients who are neurodivergent themselves in some way and prefer to deal with you rather than another provider for that reason.

Do you have anyone around you who might be able to help you judge who you should tell and might respond positively and who might not?  I can see it might be nice to take off the mask with at least some of your clients.

tell them whatever you like. i often tell people ive got rabies and am a intergalactic alien secretly planted here to take over the world.