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Childhood Trauma.

Penny03

Anyone still suffering from childhood trauma? Some days I'm extremely happy, but then others I'm reminded and I'm back to feeling depressed.

I have been referred for an assessment, and my parents are sure I have ASD, but does ASD make trauma worse? It's always been a question of mine. 

Parents

  • I'm not sure that being autistic makes trauma worse in itself.  However, looking back at my own childhood experiences, i would say that being autistic but not realising it, getting no support but instead just blame and exclusion for being different, did contribute towards feeling traumatised.  

    Similarly, I think that, my family being neurodivergent but, again, never being identified as such, led to other difficulties which impacted us all quite severely.  This included difficulties holding jobs, consequent money worries, isolation from others and feeling different in what we were made to think we're negative ways, all adding to the load.  Childhood poverty and marginalisation in particular have, I think, installed some lifelong fears and beliefs that, even now, I have to consciously challenge in myself.  The core beliefs developed in our formative years can cast a long shadow and can be quite hard to unravel.  In my own case I'd say my relationships with other people and with money have been distorted by negative childhood experiences.

    Overall, though, I don't think that much of this is related intrinsically to being autistic.  If I'd been identified in childhood and my education tailored towards my learning style and abilities, for example, things would have been much easier.  And a few workplace adjustments for the main earner in the family might have eased a lot of workplace tension, the impact on the family and the poverty resulting from insecure work.

    So I'd say that being identified is a positive and the thing that bothers me is that, for various reasons, I didn't have this vital piece of information about myself until much later on in life.  I quite like being autistic and, in itself, I haven't found it to be traumatising.  On the other hand, lack of acceptance, inclusion and any kind of allowances for differences have been.  

  • in reply to Jenny Butterfly

    This! Thanks so much for replying. You basically wrote what I was trying to piece together. Blush

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