Autistics with ADHD are not the same as autistics without ADHD (long post)

At least this is my opinion. 

I'm autistic and i strongly believe i have ADHD as well.

I'm not officially diagnosed with none but i relate more to autistics and ADHD people than neurotypicals.

And i believe there is a difference between autistics with ADHD and without.

Autistics who are only autistics it's like they have only one self with his quirks, talents and difficulties even when he seems weird compared to a neurotypical person.

But autistics who are autistics with ADHD it's like they have two selfs with some similarities but lot's of differences.

Even though i believe i am both, i think i can't relate to any of the two completely.

For example i never heard an autistic say that he/she does things impulsively. They like to have routines and schedule of what to do. I do things impulsively (not all the time) and although a routine or a schedule about my everyday life would be good and helpful i know i would get bored.

ADHD people say that they talk too loud or too fast or too much. I don't relate to that because i have a monotonous voice and people often tell me to speak louder. The only time i speak too much or loud is when i get drunk.

ADHD people also interrupt others. I don't. When i interrupt others is usually because they are the ones who interrupting me first (lot's of time people speak above my voice and yes it's annoying) or when someone stops talking i think he/she might finish and i start talking, if he/she tells me i interrupt them i would get confused.

Autistics say they like sameness, stillness without changes. To be honest i like sameness, stillness but i want changes to happen at the same time because i need dopamine, enery and excitement. And because i prefer to die than to live a life without changes, without dopamine. Ironically that's what my life looks like. Without changes and i don't do anything exciting. Yes i think a lot of times that there is no point to exist but i try to get quick domapine from other stuff like music, food, coffee, go out with friends and drink alcohol or my interests.

ADHD say they are too expressive and feel emotions too much. Again no i don't relate. Most of the time i have neutral face and mood unless if something really horrible happens. But again i'm not too expressive. I have difficulty describing my emotions or recognize them.

Autistics say that they have sensory issues. I know i have sensory issues like i can't stand loud noises, i obviously startle (jump) with sudden noises, bright lights give me headache. When i was a child i had sensory issues to some textures too but now i don't. I try to understand more about this topic. I have high tolerate and it's not that bad for me like other autistics . I can go to the store, i can go to a club (drunk), even though i hate the sun i have tolerate to walk to the sun. I think my sensory issues are very normal even to neurotypicals. I don't think there is a person on the planet that he/she can be in crowds, on the street with traffic, sun, car horns, yelling and not be anxious or at least with a headache.

ADHD say they have so much energy and are hyperactive, i don't relate, unless if they mean stimming too and not walking and jumping a lot.

Autistics say that they have a constant need for information and they do it, they learn so many things. I unfortunately i don't relate because even though i want to learn things and have knowledge inside my brain it is difficult to actually do it.                 

The reasons are that I get bored easily, i get disturbed easily, i have hard time to actually start something or i don't know where to start or i can't decide what's better for me to start first. Also i have a strong feeling that if i engaged with something so much that means i lose time for doing and learning other things and procrastination. This is the main reason i believe i have ADHD too.

Also i feel bad about myself hearing people say that autistics individuals have higher IQ and many unique abilities and an extremely focus on details because i don't have those things and my IQ is normal. I focus on details only with my interests and my only good ability is my excellent memory to birthdays and sometimes numbers (if someone tells me his birthday even once i will remember it forever). I like to ask people their birthdays and age. I also have good visul memory, not excellent but good. 

And this is the opposite of ADHD people who say they don't have so good memory.

I relate to autism's and ADHD's traits some of these are social difficulties, communication difficulties, strong interest that last for life etc. Impulsivity, procrastination and chaotic life full of unfinished stuff etc. Thinking in pictures and stimming.

These days i try to pressure myself to learn more about autism and ADHD.

I hope to find books and youtubers with both conditions so i can relate with someone.

I don't completely relate to autistics without ADHD (''they seem too autistic for me'') and i don't completely relate to ADHD people without autism (''they seem too ADHD for me''). I don't like when that happes because in general i don't feel i have an identity.

And i end up feeling disappointment and fraud that maybe i am actually lazy for doing nothing and have difficulty to start something or maybe i don't really have social difficulties maybe i'm just stupid for taking things literally or don't understand sometimes what people saying or can't actually hear them when we are in a loud environment.

What's your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with my title and why? If you relate tell me your experience if you want, it's not egocentric, in fact i want to see in the comments if people relate to what i say and their experiences so i can know there are people like me.