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Interactions with Neuro typicals

Arbor

Does anyone have any idea why neuro typical people become so aggressive toward me so quickly and does anyone else experience lo g term bullying from groups of people that you are involved with by default for example neighbours and work mates etc 

I do find my direct question are just me trying to understand somebody but the neuro typical person doesn't answer my question but often returns with another question for me ( not answering my question) but it's usually loaded  and diffensive,  in terms of a whole set of assumptions they assume I am asking, within my original question. But I am not asking anything other than the question. Plus neuro typicals seem to become agressive that I know things for example they accused me of making up the Latin names for trees ( one of my areas of special,interest). 

Parents

  • I was diagnosed recently age 64 but I have had a problem all my life with people not answering questions with precision. 

    For some inexplicable reason, neurotypicals find it difficult to answer a straight question with a straight answer.  Go figure. 

    If you ask someone ten questions on an email, they'll answer a random seven, badly; they'll ignore the remaining three; but they'll answer five questions you haven't asked and don't have any interest in.

    The worst ones are people who are clearly thinking ‘why does he want to know that?’  Based on whatever conclusion they reach, they tell you what they think you really want to know, not what you actually want to know.  Infuriating.  

    About 20 years ago I was part of an agency team tasked with putting in-hand a massive project for a global client really quickly.

    To do that, we needed yes/no answers to a series of very specific questions from executives in about 12 countries. 

    We emailed the questions, to the in-country CEO in each case, with a pre-amble from the global CEO in America saying ‘please answer these questions, precisely as they are asked, and please do this urgently’.

    Despite that, we had to chase all of them, repeatedly (they knew the urgency even without the global CEO’s comment, but they still didn't treat it with urgency).  Finally, we got back a total mish-mash of answers.  Only one person put a precise, concise, definitive answer against each question.

    I remember it well, because I lost it a bit(!) and wrote a "this is impossible, they’re all idiots" email to a colleague (the language may have been a little more Anglo Saxon than that) … and accidentally sent it to one of the people I was accusing of being an idiot. 

    Which made me an idiot, and wasn’t a good thing, because I insulted a senior client figure on a multi-million dollar contract.  Definitely an 'Oh *$£+" moment and not a good day at the office (to his credit, though, he personally quietly sent another email, this time answering all the questions as asked). 

    What I learned from that experience is that it is unrealistic to ask precise questions of neurotypicals, and to expect precise answers in reply.   For the life of me I cannot understand why, but I've lived by that mantra since, and it has served me well.   

  • in reply to PersonAnon

    Thank you Anon,

    Yes I like this idea I that changing ones expectations of interactions but that's just one aspect. The bullying  does really get me down. My hypothesis I that with the neighbours I am socially isolated so they have no social consequence to bullying me. The NT seems very focused on what others do and say but I have no way of countering this type of mass bullying. It leaves me feeling like most people are just nasty and that's not a nice thing to think about others. 

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  • in reply to PersonAnon

    Thank you Anon,

    Yes I like this idea I that changing ones expectations of interactions but that's just one aspect. The bullying  does really get me down. My hypothesis I that with the neighbours I am socially isolated so they have no social consequence to bullying me. The NT seems very focused on what others do and say but I have no way of countering this type of mass bullying. It leaves me feeling like most people are just nasty and that's not a nice thing to think about others. 

Children