Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. There have been a number of situations in the past, where, in retrospect, I think that I've been tricked because people can work out that I'm guileless and so easier to manipulate in a personal setting. In other instances, people act unexpectedly, and I'm unsure whether it's as a result of something that I've done wrong, or whether the behaviour is peculiar to them.
What would be really useful for me is to have an occasional 'personal assistant', for want of a better term, or a helpline where I could explain the circumstances of the situation I find myself in, and ask a trusted person whether they think anything unusual is going on, or that I'm being exploited. I don't require any help with day to day tasks.
Does such a service exist?
I did do, there are none in my area. I think I should probably follow your initial advice; at some point, I'll need to be more open, it's just that the habits of masking are very significantly ingrained in me, making it hard to change. In the long run, that must be the better strategy.
Incidentally, I just misclicked the button and reported your above comment as abusive. So sorry! If one of the mods contacts you, it was definitely unintentional. I'm so clumsy sometimes.
I can understand that. I found it really difficult to open up to my family about my autism but I was glad i did.
Have you had a look on this site to see if theres any support groups in your area? most areas have one and they sometimes meet online which is a bit more impersonal
In Cheshire we have a charity called ChAPS who have a zoom helpline every Friday for autistic people or parents with autistic children. Perhaps Google if there is an autism service in your area and then ask them if they do anything.
Well in general I know I can be too trustworthy, and if something seems off, I've learned to just take a moment to think of the situation in 3rd person and list out the facts of the situation in my head, and if I were to try and retell the story, would the story make sense to someone else, or would it immediately sound kind of "suspicious," and that's what helped me see when people are trying to manipulate me or trick me, so that I can get myself out of it, usually by saying no and being assertive has gotten me out of those types of situations.
I mean, there's enough scam artists out there to know that some people have the predisposition to try and trick you, and although many people are not as bad as a scam artist would be, they might try to manipulate you in smaller ways in order to benefit themselves.
Thanks Billy. I find it very awkward having these kinds of conversations with people I know, so would prefer it to be more impersonal, but I suppose you're right.
I don't know if such a service exists although there are autistic support groups, they have a list of them on here, where you might be able to get some support and advice with this stuff.
I find a family member can be useful as an interpretor or perhaps a person you are close to. I appreciate if there isnt anyone you can use as that but if there is I would advice it. If not maybe someone on here or in a support group
Hope that helps.