I am a mature student, understatement really as that covers anyone from the age of 25! I turned 50 this year! I am doing a textiles degree and loved every minute of it. I say loved as at present with all the things that are frustrating me it’s starting not to feel enjoyable. I am in my last year of my degree and I only have to last until June. I am a very black and white person I take everything literally and struggle with this and many many more things. I am curious to know if there are any other mature students at uni out there? I am at the stage now where I feel the tutors must think I am a right pain in their side with all the complexities that come with me. But in reality all I want to do is melt into the background and be like everyone else. This I cannot do as I know I am different.
To top it all off my family have been fighting for many many years for doctors to listen to me to get an autism diagnosis. I was diagnosed with dyslexia dyspraxia dyscalculia and ADD over the years but my family and literally everyone I come into contact with thought I was on the spectrum. With covid and lockdowns I had to wait for the assessment which took over 2.5 years. Thankfully literally last week I had my assessment and without a shadow of a doubt they said I am autistic on the spectrum. The test people were bewildered as to why I had been left for so long as it’s clear as day I am on the spectrum. Naturally I broke down and sobbed my heart out as it’s the first time I have truly been listens to and heard. I am awaiting their workshops to get help in areas I need.
Going back to university now, yes I have help with note takers and assistance if on Camus as I am also a power chair disabled person. But currently not on campus as I am vulnerable and cannot be vaccinated due to dietary allergies. So I am studying online, I have literally only been into uni for a few months in my first year. Working online is very isolating as I have no interaction from any of my peers. I constantly doubt myself and everything I do. I do not have regular interaction with tutors and lectures are PowerPoints. The fun has gone and I am so sad as I was loving it. I cannot relate to anything through a screen and my tutors are just not understanding this. I have facial blindness too so when I was on campus I was starting to get familiar with a few key people but online I have no clue who anyone is as often they wear masks as they are on campus.
with recently getting my diagnosis it’s as if everything around me has been magnified and I am finding it hard to do anything. My mentor suggested applying for mitigating circumstances, an extension for my current project that is due in before Christmas. This tipped me over the edge as applying for an extension is something that goes against all of my principles as I should do the work on time. I can’t this time but it feels so wrong, I have applied and am awaiting to hear the outcome. Is anyone else in this predicament?
I feel I have literally scratched the surface about me and what’s going on so am concerned this won’t be understood as I want it to be… I think just wanting to know I am not alone going through this.