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Unsure whether to go for an assessment?

Kevin

My son was diagnosed with ADHD a number of years ago and while going though his assessment things started to click in my mind when the doctors spoke about Autism and ADHD and when I looked into these more and more to understand his condition, it felt like a light bulb had been turned on in my mind.
I am 50 and have felt like I’ve never really fitted in with social groups from my school days through my college years and while at work.  I have learnt to live with the way I feel, live with situations that make me feel anxious, deal with my worry when I get forced into situations that make me want to run a mile.  I have never been comfortable when in small groups and having to make chit chat!

I sure that if I had an assessment I would be told I am Autistic, but here’s my problem, I can’t get my head around that I will be taking up the doctors time with trying to get an assessment as I know they are under so much pressure currently and it’s not life threatening!   I keep talking myself out of going, saying does it really matter to get the assessment done as I’ve lived 50 years not knowing, but part of me wants to know so I can close the lid on this box and answer lots of unanswered questions from my life.  Another part of me says wait a year and things will be less stressful with the doctors and I will feel like I’m not wasting the doctors time. 

Guess I’m asking people who have felt the same whether they went for the assessment and did it help once you found out for sure? Others must know how likely they are to be diagnosed or not and whether actually being told helped?

Thanks

  • Many thanks for your replies and I have definitely decided to go and see my doctor for a referral and take it from there.

  • You sound like you would find it beneficial to know, so I'd say go for it!

    I haven't been diagnosed, or even assessed yet, but I did ask my GP for a referral, which he did straight away.  Even that has brought some peace of mind.  It's also helped when speaking to medical professionals - when I've told them I'm waiting for an autism assessment, they've treated me as autistic instead of neurotypical.

    Good luck, and you know where we are if you want to chat about anything along the way.

  • Hiya,

    Despite your worry about taking up the doctor's time, you are obviously at the point where you think a diagnosis would be beneficial to you, so go for it.  You have a right to be taken seriously.

    On the subject of did I know:...err yeah! It was a huge shock to me when I worked it out myself, as so many of us have done.  How could I be autistic?  But the more I dug into the research and the more I read on this forum and the experiences of other autistic people - I knew!  And what's more it so easily explained what lay behind the problems that were making me so ill.

    But, I was nervous that somehow I was getting this partially or wholly wrong.  Would a professional tell me that I met some but not all the criteria or that it was some other condition related to but not ASD or that I was just barking mad instead?

    On the subject of did it help?  God, yes!  It has reframed my whole existence, enabled me to celebrate the gifts that come with it, put to rest a whole bunch of stuff I've been thinking I just wasn't good enough with all my life - 'cos actually to do as well as do I've overcome a shed load of hurdles and need to feel pretty pleased with myself.  But most importantly, it's explained the truly disabling parts that I could and should be asking for help with and finally know what I should be asking for.

    A whole lot of psychological confusion and pain disappeared in an instant with my diagnosis, and now I'm equipped to find solutions to the problems.

  • in reply to Catlover

    Thank you and you make a great point about starting to get the ball rolling now.

  • in reply to Martin

    Thank you and I think so many people think, me included, that because you can’t see anything wrong then is there something wrong! You make a great comparison and I think I will follow up with my doctor. 

  • How about asking for that referral now, and then spend some time thinking about it. Because to be honest, it might take a year before your first appointment comes up!

    I say go for it. You have a right to ask for an assessment regardless of the state of our health service. I’m starting my own journey (privately) in a few weeks time. I want to know, for so many reasons. 

  • I was assessed and diagnosed at 59. It helped me a lot, not through access to any material support, but in validating my life experience and explaining so many aspects of my otherwise confusing traits. It also allowed me to forgive myself for past failings and missed opportunities. I think it was well worth doing. All autistic people live with the pain of not fitting in the society around them, it is no different to people with arthritis experiencing physical pain. Arthritis is not usually life-threatening, but  very many people with it have joint replacement surgery that costs many tens of times more than an autism assessment does. The NHS is there for everyone who needs it, including people who believe they are autistic.