I really struggle at this time of year because it is when my mum died.
My mum died in my 20s, this was before I got my autism diagnosis. I have worked through a lot of the difficulties as a result of diagnosis as an adult and I see my diagnosis as a really positive experience, however the thing I really get stuck on is a kind of regret that I didn't get the diagnosis when I was younger because I think the understanding would have helped my relationship particularly with my mum. I always got the sense that we both really wanted to connect with each other better but just couldn't work out how to do that. I think the understanding I have now as a result of my autism diagnosis could have really helped this.
It consumes my thoughts at this time of year and I find it really hard to distract myself from it. It almost feels like am grieving not only for my mother but also for the lost years that could have been different if I had had my diagnosis. Can anyone relate/ offer any advice?
