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What can I expect in life?

Amy

Hello

I am 17, recently diagnosed with autism and feeling stuck and alone. I am looking for reasurence that I am not alone and true stories of people older than myself who have sucess in life. But please read this first with background information and then specific questions to follow.  Also, while most of this relates to collage and should be in the education section, my quetion is about work which is why I put it here. 

RecentlyI have been looking at a lot of new collages since I am so unhappy where I am now. I am looking at some sort of unit within a mainstreem collage which offers lessons learning life skills -such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, using public transport, etc.

However, many places I approach with my mum seem to automaticly reject me. Despite the fact I am none verbal (or at least when I am somewhere new, or with new people. I like to refer to it as selectedly none verbal. none of this is diagnosed though, all I am diagnosed with is high functiong ASD) during these visits and mum explains what sort of course would be best for me-always the lowest level because I have no independence skills but they want to start me on level 3 because I have always been at mainstreem schools. But when they ask my GCSE results, mum says them and we get a "you have GCSE's, you are clearly very able, go away!" type responce. No-one is even insterested in me when I have GCSE's and directs me to A levels as I am doing now which makes me so unhappy. 

Just because I was only diagnosed age 15 years 11 months and then promtly shoved away from childrens support when I was 16 and given none of the support that was reccomended from the diagnosis. So I have battled through mainstreem schools all my life and unfortunatly I have GCSE's and good academic skills. I say unfortunatly because if I did not then maybe getting support now would be a bit easier! But as i battled through school with no support then collage to do A levels for universtiy is the natural progression. This is clearly not working and now looking back I can see never really has. But I am stuck in this "you must do this" path in life and can't get out! I understand I would never manage at uni with the no life skills I have now but have no way to get them. 

I am feeling trapped and alone stuck in a place of hell. I feel I have no future in life anymore. I can not imagine life even in 5 years time. It feels like I will never be able to live indipendintly and I know for other reasons mum can not look after me much longer-she is struggling too much already and has been doing for a long time. I do not picture myself living alone but needing support i just can not get.

It feels that since the diagnosis which offerd help I have infact been punished. I understand myself and the diagnosis really makes sence to me and people that know me. But other than that it has made life a lot worse! Just a few months after the diagnosis I was told that all the reccomended support could not happen because I wa 16, and then after that I was told I could not persue my new found insterest in being in the Navy because I have autism. I have no other idea for work but what I really want is to use my insterests in a career. But that feels impossible. 

Please can someone reasure  me that Autism does not mean that I will not somehow be succesful like get a job and get support when I am older.  All I am looking for is either similar stories that I am not alone or preferably stories of adults who are able to live alone, have a job and enjoy life. If these people could also tell me what support they got to get where they are now and how I could get it I would be very grateful!

Amy

  • I have had work in my adult life (now 56), though it has always been a struggle, and I have always lived on my own. I have now given up trying to work, but I am glad I have had it in the past because I have my own house now which is quieter than a HA flat.  You may feel they are dismissing you now because you have got GCSEs, which is because they do not understand the condition at all, but in the long run I have found qualifications helpful in getting work.  Also I have found that doing the actual learning (as opposed to getting grades) is one of the things I most enjoy. I am currently doing a course over the internet with Coursera, I heard about this and other consortia of Universities on this site (I forget who mentioned it, but thank you).

    We, nor anyone else, can predict what will happen in your life, we cannot do it for our own lives and sometimes something life changing is just around the corner, but try and be hopeful. Some bad and some good things will happen but how they affect you can depend a lot on how you look at them.  One fortunate thing is that you know about the AS now so you will know why there is difficulties with relationships, but don't expect many people to understand.   

  • Sorry for interjecting but I’ve had a farce trying to get community support.  I had an Aspergers report done on me privately recently and the psychologist recommended I visit SACAR in Bradford that specialize in Autism stuff and she put in the report that she thought funding for there was through my GP.  So I got SACAR to send me an info pack and referral form to fill in and went to my GP with it for her to sign but she shrugged her shoulders and said funding is nothing to do with GPs and told me to phone social services.  On the form it does actually mention having a Community Care Assessment from the local authority so I phoned social services who told me to visit SACAR to see what courses/therapy things they offer and decide which things I want to attend and then they’d do a Community Care Assessment, but not before I go first.  (Although SACAR indicated that I fill in the form before going.)  Social services also said it could take months to get a Community Care Assessment but that having one doesn’t mean its free, they said I’d be paying for going to SACAR myself.  This news way peeved me off as I’m very tight-fisted so I emailed SACAR again to ask how much stuff costs and heard nothing from them.  I’ve knocked getting support on the head and have decided to read a book about Aspergers instead.

  • Contact your County Council's adult social services department (since you are approaching 18) and ask them for an assessment. By law, they cannot refuse you an assessment, due to the Autism Act. Alternatively, you can get your GP to do this on your behalf.

  • Wow hope, sound's like an asessment I may not have had yet! (if such a thing is possible) It probably is, just life feels like one constnat assesment ever since I left school. How would I get one of those? and how would it help?

  • Had you had a community care assessment? You are assessed to see if you are eligible for support in the community.

  • At 17 you are still in the process of building an ego identity, the ego mind part of you is forecasting fantasy into the future. Bring it back a bit as you will only depress yourself, why not have a one year plan and make it within an achieveable outline, you may surprise yourself, keep it loose,, in broad terms,, like I would like a job, I would like to be in a relationship, I would like to do more things more interesting, I would like to earn some money, etc and that way you have more scope to move and less pressure but still have expectation and less frustation.

    Amy it is a good post, as I will have to do the same again, post-breakdown.

    I advise speak to an autism specialist career advice worker. NAS may have links.

    Chin up Smile and don't beat yourself up, life is hard enough without you putting pressure on yourself.