Published on 12, July, 2020
It was suggested to me by my psychotherapist in the summer that I might be autistic. I have since done a lot of research and can identify with some of the signs but not all of them. Although my GP has agreed to refer me for an assessment, I sense that he has not taken it that seriously and doesn't believe that I'm actually autistic. I have learnt that girls and women are good at hiding their difficulties and, being in my late 40s now, I will have learnt to adapt to survive so far. Does anyone have any advice they can give me about what it's like for a woman in her forties to pursue a diagnosis? Also, does anyone share my sense that they can really identify with some symptoms of being on the spectrum but not all of them? I feel I would benefit from talking to someone who has already been through the experience and any help or advice they can give me.
Firstly, it doesn’t matter what your GP thinks. And secondly, you don’t need to have all traits. I’ve only recently realised this myself. My assessment starts in December. I’m 48. When I realised I probably had Autism, I put it out of my mind. I knew my whole life had been a struggle, but felt I didn’t have many traits, including stimming, routine, food sensitivities, meltdowns etc. Over the last year I’ve done a lot of analysing. I do have quite regimental routines, but this is usual for me, so I didn’t think it was a factor. There are foods I avoid, I do stim and I can attribute past experiences where I acted ‘like a child’, shouting, screaming, stomping my feet, hitting things, not realising I’d hurt myself, and feeling somewhat embarrassed after the event which was out of my control.
I don’t think my interests were ‘excessive enough’, or particularly scholarly, and I don’t ‘like numbers’ or scientific things. I give great eye contact, but of course I had to learn this, and monitor it whenever I speak to someone.
There so much I could write about but all I’ll say is keep looking at your life in detail. Things might become apparent.
The thing is, deep down, I worry, am I just finding these things, so they fit in with some of the traits? I won’t believe I am in the spectrum until a professional tells me. I was exactly the same with my daughters process. I knew what she had. I’d known for years and no one listened (she’s high functioning). But I needed it to be said and on paper for it to be a ‘fact’.
Hello Catlover
Thank you for your reply. I would love to ask you the same question as I asked Ultramarine about what you consider to be your autistic traits and which ones you feel you don't have. I can definitely identify with what you both say about sometimes believing you could be autistic and then the next minute doubting it. Also the more research you do the more you feel that you are finding traits in yourself to give yourself certainty. What or who made you realize that you might be autistic in the first place? How did you both go about getting the diagnosis? I have already been through my GP, who has agreed to refer me, but I don't know where this will be and I want to be sure that the person who assesses me will be up to date with female presentation, as Frances said in her post. I have asked the GP if he will refer me to the Lorna Wing Centre, as recommended by my psychotherapist, but I am still waiting to hear if this will be possible. Also, should I wait for an NHS referral, which make take a year or more, or speed things up by going private? So many things to consider.......
Hello Catlover,
I hope your assessment goes well!I can relate to what you say, that you worry that you are just seeing autistic traits in yourself because you are looking for confirmation and certainty.
You won't have long to wait now. Hopefully it will all feel better once you get a diagnosis.