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Taking a friend to a diagnosis

DiffidAnt

Hello,

I wonder whether I can ask for advice. I've got a diagnosis appointment coming up, and I'm thinking about asking a friend to go with me. This might be a good idea because in new situations, I don't always explain myself articulately. Furthermore, I don't always act in my own best interests. However, because of past incidents, I am adverse to telling people private things about myself, particularly about the very personal topics that are likely to be discussed during a diagnostic process.

I've recently met an autistic person, and find that I can talk to that person much more freely about these topics. However, it might be an imposition to ask that person to go with me to the diagnosis, given that I don't know them very well. Furthermore, I would be worried about upsetting my friend by asking someone else, as it might imply that I didn't trust them.

I find these kinds of decisions very hard to make. I wonder whether anyone else has experience of taking someone with them to a diagnosis, and what they found the advantages and disadvantages to be. Thank you.

  • Thank you everyone for giving your opinions. A family member would not be suitable for me, but perhaps I should stick to the person who knows me better. I've already written down many of my previous experiences; I was thinking about compiling a timeline also so that the different examples make more chronological and thematic sense.

    aidie, interesting that you say that the process wasn't difficult or pressured. I hope so; at the moment, it feel abstract- I suspect it will be unpleasant but one will see.

  • i am opposite to u in that i would be less likely to say something about my past experiences, say with my mother, if i had someone with me. I would just be self conscious and maybe embarrassed. I went to my diagnosis on my own. It is not as difficult/pressured as you think. Its quite easy really. Very relaxed.

    but its up to u 

  • It would be better to go with someone who knows you, such as a friend or relative, especially if they can put their own observations in or talk for you if you struggle.  You may feel at ease with the autistic person you just met, but they might not know you enough to assist, or they might find it difficult themselves.  Try not to overthink it, pick who you feel is best and stick with them.  Also, write down all the things that you feel might make you autistic before you go, so that you don't have to try and remember during the assessment.  If possible, get the friend/relative to write down things as well - but if they don't know then it doesn't matter.

  • I was diagnosed at quite a young age. But I can kind of relate with appointments with the MHT for assesments and stuff in my adult years. Very much like yourself I find it very helpful to have someone with me, I sometime unknowingly play my situation down (according to my Grandparents) so it's good to have someone there to point these kind of things out, but it deffo has to be someone you trust 100% in my opinion, I took my nan, is it possible you could maybe have a family member go with you?