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Autistic parent? Please help

NAS76162

I'm 35 years old. My mother is nearly 70. The last few years I've started to suspect she might be autistic. Most places online seem to offer support to parents of children with autism but what about info/ support for those whose parents are autistic? Does anyone know of any books or other info to read?

I've spent my whole life looking after my mum. Her marriage didn't work. She has no friends. I'm the only one she has. It's too much sometimes. I have a baby now and I'm exhausted and finding it even more difficult to interact with her. She just can't see my point of view on anything. Won't meet me half way for anything. I'm struggling more than ever to be understanding with her. Is there anyone else out there who has grown up supporting an autistic parent? It would just be so good to talk to someone who has. None of my friends have ever been able to relate to the experience I've had growing up with my mum. 

Thank you in advance. 

Parents

  • Sorry to hear things are stressful for you at the moment. A lifetime looking after someone who has Autism is tough. I know how tough my marriage was, and this was all before I realised….

    Might you be able to arrange some respite care, to give yourself a break? Regardless of the reasons, you are your mothers carer, and you should be able to access some help. Also, do you have any siblings to lessen the load for you?

    Do try and educate yourself a little more so you can understand your mother. At her age, it probably won’t matter to her as she’s too long in the tooth to worry about it. Change is also not an option. Best to try and stick to her rules and routine. Realise she won’t bend, and however unreasonable you feel she is being, she can’t help it. Nothings intentional. She just has her way, and cannot understand your compromises.

    I suspect my mother is also on the spectrum. She is aware of this now, and is still in the process of attributing things from her life to it. She can’t be bothered to get a formal diagnosis as she says it doesn’t matter now. She is learning to be nicer to people that she knows, and by that, I mean less blunt and rude. She’s also a lot less hard in herself. When she is struggling with different aspects of life or communication. I don’t see much of a problem with how she is generally, as I also suspect I am on the spectrum, and I’m being assessed in December.

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  • Sorry to hear things are stressful for you at the moment. A lifetime looking after someone who has Autism is tough. I know how tough my marriage was, and this was all before I realised….

    Might you be able to arrange some respite care, to give yourself a break? Regardless of the reasons, you are your mothers carer, and you should be able to access some help. Also, do you have any siblings to lessen the load for you?

    Do try and educate yourself a little more so you can understand your mother. At her age, it probably won’t matter to her as she’s too long in the tooth to worry about it. Change is also not an option. Best to try and stick to her rules and routine. Realise she won’t bend, and however unreasonable you feel she is being, she can’t help it. Nothings intentional. She just has her way, and cannot understand your compromises.

    I suspect my mother is also on the spectrum. She is aware of this now, and is still in the process of attributing things from her life to it. She can’t be bothered to get a formal diagnosis as she says it doesn’t matter now. She is learning to be nicer to people that she knows, and by that, I mean less blunt and rude. She’s also a lot less hard in herself. When she is struggling with different aspects of life or communication. I don’t see much of a problem with how she is generally, as I also suspect I am on the spectrum, and I’m being assessed in December.

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