No one wants to understand

I understand as I've had to get myself through life without much support, and its difficult, but you are hoping for someone else to put the work in to fix you and that's very unlikely to happen.

Change has to come from within.  I struggle to change, most people do, and its harder for autistic people as we can be more rigid - but its better to work on it than give up.  Try not to dwell on the past and feelings of despair and abandonment, that will keep you locked there - switch to better/positive thoughts and feelings, and do things that take your mind of thoughts/feelings.  When you have bad feelings, say to yourself "i choose not to suffer" and engage in better thoughts/activities.  Try mindfulness, its not for everyone but it helps me have a break from unwanted thoughts.  Try self-help books, they can help you start to think/feel better.  Try and immerse yourself into a hobby/interest when you can, even if its hard work.

Make a list of positive things about yourself, and leave it somewhere you can see it each day.

You have to build a new, positive, belief system and that will take time,  You may be abandoned, but start by believing in yourself, that you can cope by yourself - you will gain strength that way, and that's appealing to others rather than being clingy/needy/hopeless which is off-putting.

Instead of hoping for death each day, hope for a better future, hope for the things that you would like in your life.

You are a ship lost at sea, but that just means you need to take the controls and head someone good.

I understand as I've had to get myself through life without much support, and its difficult, but you are hoping for someone else to put the work in to fix you and that's very unlikely to happen.

Change has to come from within.  I struggle to change, most people do, and its harder for autistic people as we can be more rigid - but its better to work on it than give up.  Try not to dwell on the past and feelings of despair and abandonment, that will keep you locked there - switch to better/positive thoughts and feelings, and do things that take your mind of thoughts/feelings.  When you have bad feelings, say to yourself "i choose not to suffer" and engage in better thoughts/activities.  Try mindfulness, its not for everyone but it helps me have a break from unwanted thoughts.  Try self-help books, they can help you start to think/feel better.  Try and immerse yourself into a hobby/interest when you can, even if its hard work.

Make a list of positive things about yourself, and leave it somewhere you can see it each day.

You have to build a new, positive, belief system and that will take time,  You may be abandoned, but start by believing in yourself, that you can cope by yourself - you will gain strength that way, and that's appealing to others rather than being clingy/needy/hopeless which is off-putting.

Instead of hoping for death each day, hope for a better future, hope for the things that you would like in your life.

You are a ship lost at sea, but that just means you need to take the controls and head someone good.