Prior to the pandemic, I was living on my own in the south, working mostly from the office, and visiting my parents (in the north) whenever possible. A few of my coworkers I would almost consider friends. One was definitely a friend but there were complications and we drifted apart and rarely speak to each other now. Several of them are just ridiculously busy. I don't keep in contact with any of them. Regular social activities included D&D (tabletop roleplaying game) and occasionally climbing. In 2019 I had counseling, partly about psychosexual issues, and one of the main things to come out of that was that I should meet more people. I briefly got involved in a couple of new communities in the hope of making new friends, but they didn't last either.
Mid pandemic, I moved back in with my parents. I was already working from home, and even with my employer putting more emphasis on coming into the office, I transferred to a job which was permanently WFH. One big issue being that both parents are on the shielding list, and one hadn't had the vaccine yet (but hopefully will soon now that medical issues are resolved). I've been very careful, sometimes leading to disagreements when they haven't been. I don't yet consider myself to be a carer, fortunately in spite of multiple disabilities and age they are still reasonably self contained, and there's my brother too.
Lately my anxieties have been beating me up over the fact that I have basically one friend I can talk to somewhat regularly, and I can't rely on my parents indefinitely; I doubt they'll be with me for more than 10 years or so. Then I'll really be lonely. So maybe not loneliness so much as anxiety about loneliness. Plus, I'm reluctant to get help for anxiety because the last time that happened it was so stressful that it affected my work.
I think anything I get involved in to meet people will necessarily require meeting up in person, and possibly traveling. That's not acceptable in terms of managing risk. I'm fairly convinced that Covid isn't ever going to go away, it'll just become endemic, meaning people on the shielding list and their households will have to isolate forever (just as immunosuppressed people have always had to).
Am I worrying unnecessary? Maybe I don't actually need that much social? There have been a whole bunch of stressful things come together lately, including work issues and difficulties with physio for another issue.
When is it okay to contact past acquaintances?
How do I make new friends without meeting them in person?
Should I move out (but still in walking distance to avoid travel) and isolate before meeting up with my parents?
Update: Some background: I'm 40, I was diagnosed with Asperger's in my 30s while at university, I'm single and somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I'm pretty sure it's the hope - having decisions to make when things get slightly better (mum maybe getting the vaccine, cases starting to fall) - that gets to me as much as the despair.
