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Recently diagnosed: struggling to accept

NAS75891

After about 20 years of thinking I might be autistic I was diagnosed earlier this week. Leading up to the assessment I was worried I was just being a hypochondriac and was fairly convinced I would not be diagnosed.   Anyway I was. (It was private but at a reputable place with a clinical psychologist- I did my research) 

After the initial relief,  I’m now in a spiral of obsessive checking and reading of autism related articles/books etc to convince myself the diagnosis is correct. Basically back to square one. 

My brain is saying to just live my normal routine for a few weeks and experience my normal life with this new perspective (I’m off work til next week so I don’t really have to do anything) and also wait for the written report which won’t be ready for a few weeks.

But I just can’t seem to do the logical thing. I keep ruminating about not having enough restricted behaviours or sensory issues to meet the criteria . (There is no doubt whatsoever about the social interaction side!!!)  I feel kind of paralysed and I can’t keep off the Internet. 

Is this sort of thing common? Can anyone relate? 

Parents

  • It’s always hard when you have to deal with imposter syndrome after a late diagnosis. Do you happen to have access to any childhood videos? This helped me get over mine instantly. It was very obvious when I saw my unmasked, raw self. 

    if you don’t then I hope you find your peace eventually. It’s completely normal.

  • in reply to Autie_A_

    I don't have videos but before I knew anything about autism I can remember looking at my middle school reports and laughing at how lazy I was.

    A few weeks before my first diagnosis session I looked at the reports again and I burst into tears.

    "Greg is a daydreamer and I feel he will get nowhere if he carries on like this"

    "Greg cannot concentrate and will have problems later on in life"

    "Greg is a nice boy but tends to be in his own world and not concentrate with his work"

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  • in reply to Autie_A_

    I don't have videos but before I knew anything about autism I can remember looking at my middle school reports and laughing at how lazy I was.

    A few weeks before my first diagnosis session I looked at the reports again and I burst into tears.

    "Greg is a daydreamer and I feel he will get nowhere if he carries on like this"

    "Greg cannot concentrate and will have problems later on in life"

    "Greg is a nice boy but tends to be in his own world and not concentrate with his work"

Children