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Recently diagnosed: struggling to accept

NAS75891

After about 20 years of thinking I might be autistic I was diagnosed earlier this week. Leading up to the assessment I was worried I was just being a hypochondriac and was fairly convinced I would not be diagnosed.   Anyway I was. (It was private but at a reputable place with a clinical psychologist- I did my research) 

After the initial relief,  I’m now in a spiral of obsessive checking and reading of autism related articles/books etc to convince myself the diagnosis is correct. Basically back to square one. 

My brain is saying to just live my normal routine for a few weeks and experience my normal life with this new perspective (I’m off work til next week so I don’t really have to do anything) and also wait for the written report which won’t be ready for a few weeks.

But I just can’t seem to do the logical thing. I keep ruminating about not having enough restricted behaviours or sensory issues to meet the criteria . (There is no doubt whatsoever about the social interaction side!!!)  I feel kind of paralysed and I can’t keep off the Internet. 

Is this sort of thing common? Can anyone relate? 

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  • Hello,

    It sounds to me like perhaps your mind just needs time to process all this, and maybe it's OK to let yourself ruminate and read things on the internet if you need to.  (I'm no psychologist - feel free to disregard this!)  I haven't yet been diagnosed, because I'm still waiting for an assessment, but a few months ago when I first started to strongly suspect I was autistic (after having suspected it for several years), I did go through a period where it was difficult to think about anything else - it was difficult for me to work or to function much at all.  But now I feel a bit calmer and am able to focus on other things again.  I think perhaps I was just processing it all, because it was a major thing to discover in my late thirties that I'm probably autistic.  


    So, I don't know if this is good advice or not, but based on my experience I would suggest to allow yourself to research and think about it a lot if you need to do this.  Over time, as you observe yourself in everyday life, you may well see confirmation of the diagnosis.

  • in reply to Ultramarine

    This is good advice for me too. Thank you - it's really helped me.

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