Recently diagnosed: struggling to accept

After about 20 years of thinking I might be autistic I was diagnosed earlier this week. Leading up to the assessment I was worried I was just being a hypochondriac and was fairly convinced I would not be diagnosed.   Anyway I was. (It was private but at a reputable place with a clinical psychologist- I did my research) 

After the initial relief,  I’m now in a spiral of obsessive checking and reading of autism related articles/books etc to convince myself the diagnosis is correct. Basically back to square one. 

My brain is saying to just live my normal routine for a few weeks and experience my normal life with this new perspective (I’m off work til next week so I don’t really have to do anything) and also wait for the written report which won’t be ready for a few weeks.

But I just can’t seem to do the logical thing. I keep ruminating about not having enough restricted behaviours or sensory issues to meet the criteria . (There is no doubt whatsoever about the social interaction side!!!)  I feel kind of paralysed and I can’t keep off the Internet. 

Is this sort of thing common? Can anyone relate? 

Parents
  • Yep.  This is me, relating(!)  Similar story.  I am also new to it so I have no words of wisdom or advice but just wanted to stick my hand up and say you're not alone in that reaction.  We all react differently, it seems.  A few days ago a young poster described being 'relieved', which is definitely not my reaction.  Wishing you well.  

Reply
  • Yep.  This is me, relating(!)  Similar story.  I am also new to it so I have no words of wisdom or advice but just wanted to stick my hand up and say you're not alone in that reaction.  We all react differently, it seems.  A few days ago a young poster described being 'relieved', which is definitely not my reaction.  Wishing you well.  

Children