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figuring out if you have something else?

vencly

hi! this is actually my first post here.

i’m 18, and just got my ASD diagnosis earlier this year. it was a real game changer for me & has helped me understand so much about myself now and my in my childhood. so much that i struggled with before my diagnosis is easier for me to figure out and manage in my day-to-day life, i’m really thankful for the people that helped me get here!

i feel guilty about it, but even with all the good, theres this feeling i have like there’s something that’s still not right.

i‘ve struggled with my mood, self-destructive actions/thoughts, relationships with others and really my mental stability in general for all my life and even after my diagnosis they’re still here, not getting better like i thought maybe they would, but almost getting worse. i’m starting to wonder if maybe that aspect of who i am is a separate thing all together. i’ve been arguing with myself over talking to my GP, but the last time i spoke to somebody close to me about anything similar i was told i “adapt symptoms of things and then think i have it”, so i’m obviously hesitant to even ask for any kind of advice.

does anybody have anything to suggest, or maybe has had the same feeling before?

  • in reply to NAS75890

    If it's something I've said - yes no problem but link to this site perhaps? Don't know the etiquette :-)

  • in reply to Pegasus

    hi, thank you so much for taking the time to reply!

    it’s comforting to know i’m not the only one. it definitely is like an imposter syndrome-type feeling - it’s frustrating.

    having some specific time for that type of thinking seems like a good idea though, it’d probably be better to not be constantly thinking about it.

    thank you again for the advice, pegasus!

  • Hi Vencly,

    I've been recently diagnosed  and I feel like this too. You are not alone in thinking this. It feels like an imposter syndrome for ASD doesn't it?

    I wonder about the comment regarding 'adapt/adopt symptoms of things and think I have it'. The person may have been trying to be subtle about not diagnosing yourself (which is sort of good advice but not very helpful in our ASD situation). I sort of do this because I feel I'm continually searching for info that I can relate to. When you have this sense of being 'different' but not knowing why and no-one can ever really put their finger on it, it just leaves a gap in our understanding and furthers the feeling of 'not fitting in'. I think I've been doing this searching for understanding and a possible answer to the 'why?' all my life. I also assume everyone else is going to be as much read up on a subject as me. Unfortunately, they're not - even health professionals - which is rather frustrating.

    It is important to give the brain a rest though. It may help you to research something completely different and unassociated with it. Perhaps you could alot yourself a section of the day to spend looking up info or thinking about whether there's something else going on.

    I've learnt there's few certain things in life; some things or ideas we just have to mentally park for a while otherwise it gets overwhelming very quickly. Also, I'm ancient compared to you and just don't have the mental energy to do all the extra thinking, emotionally reacting and working out the inevitable 'what ifs?' anymore.

    I do recognise the feelings though.

    Pegasus.