I've struggled my whole life with certain things and I've always kind of brushed them off as me just going through a tough time. I had a rough childhood and I thought what I was experiencing was maybe a result of that but recently after some research I think I might have had autism since childhood.
I've always and still have issues with touching. I don't like people touching me. It resulted in me not getting a haircut for years because I just didn't want to deal with that.
I am extremely sensitive to sounds and smells and textures to the point where I feel like I'm going to erupt when I experience something that I don't like.
I have a debilitating fixation on starting things over. If I'm doing something and I don't think it's absolutely perfect I will start again without hesitation. I could invest hundreds of hours into something and if I make one mistake I'll just start again. The thought of using something that isn't perfect makes me feel physically sick.
Ive had numerous meltdown resulting in time off work for months at a time where I just couldn't cope.
I work in retail management, I hate speaking to customers and interacting with others but I love working with data and that's what keeps me going.
I also struggle with very bad anxiety and I used to have an obsession with self half. Not in the sense that I was looking to take my own life but I just couldn't stop thinking about it and It brought me a lot of comfort.
Any advice would be good.