I think I have Autism but I'm not sure.

I've struggled my whole life with certain things and I've always kind of brushed them off as me just going through a tough time. I had a rough childhood and I thought what I was experiencing was maybe a result of that but recently after some research I think I might have had autism since childhood.

I've always and still have issues with touching. I don't like people touching me. It resulted in me not getting a haircut for years because I just didn't want to deal with that. 

I am extremely sensitive to sounds and smells and textures to the point where I feel like I'm going to erupt when I experience something that I don't like.

I have a debilitating fixation on starting things over. If I'm doing something and I don't think it's absolutely perfect I will start again without hesitation. I could invest hundreds of hours into something and if I make one mistake I'll just start again. The thought of using something that isn't perfect makes me feel physically sick. 

Ive had numerous meltdown resulting in time off work for months at a time where I just couldn't cope. 

I work in retail management, I hate speaking to customers and interacting with others but I love working with data and that's what keeps me going.

I also struggle with very bad anxiety and I used to have an obsession with self half. Not in the sense that I was looking to take my own life but I just couldn't stop thinking about it and It brought me a lot of comfort. 

Any advice would be good.

  • sorry i missed that when i read your discussion text.

    oh my thats all people skills and interactions  --- i see why you get so upset now

    maybe move sideways into admin  ???? 

    but think how well u can cope in such a person to person job  

  • Retail manager, specifically fashion retail.

  • Yeah I've been having a look at some tests and things and I do seem to have a fair amount of traits that someone with autism would have. I've booked in to discuss it with my GP since it's got to the point where the things that I seem to have bad experiences with have become increasingly prevalent and are having substantially detrimental effects on all aspects of my life. 

  • In your post you use terms like meltdown and extreme sensitivity to sounds and smells and textures, which suggests you've done some research.  These are autistic traits and these are how they are described.

    You have three options:

    1. you can ask for an official assessment form the NHS (please be prepared for a long wait as there is usually at least a 12-month waiting time), but they could also be traits of other conditions too. 

    2. You can pay or a private diagnosis (costly, but very quick).

    3. You can declare yourself as autistic (self-diagnosis).

    Currently, the NHS diagnosis is recognised everywhere. If you got for a private diagnosis, then make sure it is a good quality assessment from a reputable clinic —by ‘good quality’ and 'reputable' I mean a clinic that follows guidance from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence or NICE. With an official diagnosis you qualify for protection in employment under the Equality Act.

    Self-diagnosis is not recognised by official organisations such as Health or Education or Department of Work and Pensions, or employers and it carries the risk that you may be missing out on support, or even worse mis-diagnosing yourself and depriving yourself of support for a different condition. For some people, declaring themselves autistic is enough for them as they prefer no to have involvement from other services.


    Have you asked for an assessment for autism?
     Have you taken any online tests?