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The Drama of yesterday

Pathetique

Hello,

I accept my high sensitivity as a trait. However, I went through drama regarding my HSP self yesterday.

Yesterday I wanted to leave on time for youth club at 18:15 – the same time every week. Mum actually dragged me out of the front door a few minutes early and it upset me because I like to leave at my time. We had to leave early because there was traffic.

On the way there, this resulted in conflict and almost not going to Sainsbury’s before. I did end up going to Sainsbury’s though. I like it when Mum walks me places to the sweet isle in the shop. She didn’t do it though when I wanted her to.

After I got out of the shop, we then went straight to youth club. I wanted Mum to take me in with me, once again she didn’t want to. I prefer her to come with me. I decided to stay out of youth club in their car park to earn the minutes that I lost at home when waiting. After waiting for 5 minutes, My youth club leader came out and said ‘I was worried about you’ because she thought I was lost – when I was safe. One of my friends saw me when I arrived and stayed in the car park.

When youth club ended, Mum walked through the garden entrance when I like her to go through the main and other entrance. My youth club leader than said I was lost and she was worried about me. I left and my parents had a go at me for being myself.

How can I deal with these problems?

Thanks.

Parents

  • What you're classifying as problems can also be classified as good principles of being human: Becoming dependable, reliable, trust-worthy. I might suggest learning to embody these standards of "becoming". And I'm using this term because no matter how mature we are, they are always something to be mindful of and make a decision to employ. Become someone with integrity: when I say yes, I follow through unless I'm in hospital. I think through decisions before making them. I prefer timeliness, which is how executives in finance behave. Become the standard you desire for others and eventually you won't have to explain yourself or your expectations. If they don't meet them, you  will have learned what kind of intentionality and discipline it takes to master them and might eventually allow a little room for others who are less able to match these principles.

    Sometimes desiring these attributes in others is how we can learn about who we want to be as humans. And while yes, I do expect those I choose to be vulnerable with to match my standards of being, just having pursued becoming what I desire has helped me recognise those who also appreciate this values and have good boundaries with those who do not. 

    You'll need to head to the library or hunt about online to learn how to become what you value. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wishing your mum could be these for you. Even if she's not there yet, perhaps she's open to learning about these values and helping you both practice these disciplines?

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Hello,

    I think I will talk to Mum about your advice and go to the library to learn how to become what I value

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