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The Drama of yesterday

Pathetique

Hello,

I accept my high sensitivity as a trait. However, I went through drama regarding my HSP self yesterday.

Yesterday I wanted to leave on time for youth club at 18:15 – the same time every week. Mum actually dragged me out of the front door a few minutes early and it upset me because I like to leave at my time. We had to leave early because there was traffic.

On the way there, this resulted in conflict and almost not going to Sainsbury’s before. I did end up going to Sainsbury’s though. I like it when Mum walks me places to the sweet isle in the shop. She didn’t do it though when I wanted her to.

After I got out of the shop, we then went straight to youth club. I wanted Mum to take me in with me, once again she didn’t want to. I prefer her to come with me. I decided to stay out of youth club in their car park to earn the minutes that I lost at home when waiting. After waiting for 5 minutes, My youth club leader came out and said ‘I was worried about you’ because she thought I was lost – when I was safe. One of my friends saw me when I arrived and stayed in the car park.

When youth club ended, Mum walked through the garden entrance when I like her to go through the main and other entrance. My youth club leader than said I was lost and she was worried about me. I left and my parents had a go at me for being myself.

How can I deal with these problems?

Thanks.

Parents

  • the hard answer is communication. Liking things to be done a certain way and at certain times is fine but you need to be able to tell others (and yourself) why it's important things should happen a specific way. I don't wish to be presumptuous but I'm guessing you might tell me very often you don't know why it bothers you so much that things don't happen a certain way. But just because you don't know the reason it doesn't mean there isn't one. If you knew the reason it might help you be more flexible sometimes. And if you could explain the reason to other people it might help them be more accommodating. It's easier to do something (or not do something) for someone if you understand the reason.

  • in reply to Peter

    Hi there,

    It does bother me if I don't follow my routine. I have tried to talk to my parents about my routine multiple times each week and they won't be understanding that I like to leave at certain times. Thanks for your reply.

  • in reply to Pathetique

    Yes but my point is just saying it bothers you is probably less helpful than understanding, and being able to explain, why it bothers you.

Reply Children
  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    Hello. I will explain to my parents about my routine and why it upsets me to not follow it. Thanks for your reply.

  • in reply to Peter

    I agree with Peter, for them to understand you need to try and explain why it upsets you not to follow the routine. Just stating the fact that not following the routine is upsetting doesn’t actually explain things in a way most NT people can understand. Eg. My daughter has suddenly decided that she’s scared of her year old cabin bed because it’s too high. Why are you scared? Because it’s too high. But why is that scary? Is she scared of falling out? Is she generally scared of heights? Is there another reason that makes perfect sense to a 4 year old but not to adults? If she can elaborate on exactly what is scaring her I can take steps to help her feel safer in bed but there’s no point putting extra bedrails on if she’s not scared of falling out