Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone! This is all new to me! I have recently self identified as autistic at 56. I have been referred to and accepted by the autism assessment team but there is a 3 1/2 year waiting list. Since the penny dropped, I have become increasingly scared, bewildered, angry, depressed, feeling defective, and that my entire life has been a lie. I am I assume, high functioning, I have a masters degree, I have had good jobs, I have brought up a child alone whilst doing all of the above. At the moment I feel like I have opened pandoras box and really want to put the lid back on as I really don't like what's in it! I also feel like a bit of a fake in that I've got this far without any problems but realising that actually, I've always had problems. I guess I just want someone to say this is all normal? Thank you for reading!
I was diagnosed at 46. Similar to you I have had good jobs and am highly qualified, but I have still had problems throughout my life because of my Autism. Diagnosis helped me to realise why I have had these problems, so it was a cathartic experience but it was also an emotional one as well. It was a relief to know that a lot of things hadn’t been my fault. Knowing these problems were caused by Autism as it makes you less hard on yourself. People say it takes a few years to sink in and I think this is the case. Another useful thing I got from diagnosis and by reading accounts written by other Autistic people was knowing what to be wary of. I am now more aware that as an Autistic person, some people do try to take advantage of me and that I have to be more guarded to prevent this.
Richard said:I am now more aware that as an Autistic person, some people do try to take advantage of me and that I have to be more guarded to prevent this.
Oh yes, since my assessemt I've become so aware of that. With hindsight, I now recognise there were one or two folk in my past who clearly saw me coming.
Ben