Self identified at 56 years old

Hi everyone! This is all new to me! I have recently self identified as autistic at 56. I have been referred to and accepted by the autism assessment team but there is a 3 1/2 year waiting list. Since the penny dropped, I have become increasingly scared, bewildered, angry, depressed, feeling defective, and that my entire life has been a lie. I am I assume, high functioning, I have a masters degree, I have had good jobs, I have brought up a child alone whilst doing all of the above. At the moment I feel like I have opened pandoras box and really want to put the lid back on as I really don't like what's in it! I also feel like a bit of a fake in that I've got this far without any problems but realising that actually, I've always had problems. I guess I just want someone to say this is all normal? Thank you for reading!

Parents
  • Being raised "normal," I think, helped me with certain things.  My family is the type to not "make a scene."  Any tantrums I had, I was whisked out of the room/building, and now I cannot stand to see meltdowns and tantrums.  They make my eyes and ears bleed.  I'm also extremely polite and reserved, totally nonconfrontational.  Instead of meltdowns, I shut down in public and hubby rescues me and helps bring me back.  Luckily, I'm very articulate and love reading, so school wasn't too bad.  I also loved algebra, even though I have dyscalculia.  My diagnosis answered a lot of questions for me, mostly around socializing but also how I see things differently than others.  

Reply
  • Being raised "normal," I think, helped me with certain things.  My family is the type to not "make a scene."  Any tantrums I had, I was whisked out of the room/building, and now I cannot stand to see meltdowns and tantrums.  They make my eyes and ears bleed.  I'm also extremely polite and reserved, totally nonconfrontational.  Instead of meltdowns, I shut down in public and hubby rescues me and helps bring me back.  Luckily, I'm very articulate and love reading, so school wasn't too bad.  I also loved algebra, even though I have dyscalculia.  My diagnosis answered a lot of questions for me, mostly around socializing but also how I see things differently than others.  

Children
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