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Adult assessment - worried!

Skylark

Would really like to hear experiences of adult assessment. I am really worried about my upcoming assessment. I have two autistic children and scored highly in various screenings, I think I am probably autistic but I definitely mask really well. I just don’t know how to behave. Will they recognise the masking? Should I try and be ‘normal me’ (I don’t even know what that is I’ve spent so many years pretending to be someone else). 
I just want to know either way whether I am autistic. it’s purely for my own self understanding, but I want them to understand how things really are for me, I feel a bit overwhelmed at the thought of trying to remember everything and explain so that they will understand!

How did you all feel about assessment and how easy did the assessors make it for you? Do they lead you through everything or do you just have to try and remember?

Parents

  • Hi & welcome.

    First please consider giving yourself a more approachable username than NASxxx. It get's confusing otherwise!

    Like many others on this forum, I was terrified of not being believed in the assessment because I am such a polished masker.

    I had my assessment via video call a month ago, and it was absolutely fine... masking is very common in autists, and the professionals who conduct assessments are well aware of it... we spent a good chunk of time during the assessment talking about how I mask and in fact how & what I was masking at that very moment.

    The assessor definitely "drove" the interview with questions, but allowed plenty of time for me to explain myself and even wander off on vaugely related topics. At the end she asked if there was anything that I feel was relevant that we hadn't talked about... even though I had prepared dozens of pages of notes, there was surprisingly little that wasn't covered (for me it was mainly about my extreme demand avoidance).

    I do suggest preparing before hand by trying to write down examples of how you feel autism affects you now, but also with as many incidents from your past (especially childhood) where you realised you were... different. They will probably also ask about your family - how you interacted with them, and if any of them are on the spectrum - it's definitely worth talking to your family about your past if that's possible.

  • in reply to moon

    Sorry re user name, I don’t know how you change it, it just came up with that when I posted, I didn’t choose it. I haven’t used this forum before. 

    thanks that’s really helpful. I have begun to write some notes down and I will finish that before I go. Did you go alone? I really want to go on my own but they are saying I have to take someone. Not sure I’m comfortable with that as I know I won’t be able to be as honest with my hubby listening, there’s lots I’ve not told him. 

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  • in reply to moon

    Sorry re user name, I don’t know how you change it, it just came up with that when I posted, I didn’t choose it. I haven’t used this forum before. 

    thanks that’s really helpful. I have begun to write some notes down and I will finish that before I go. Did you go alone? I really want to go on my own but they are saying I have to take someone. Not sure I’m comfortable with that as I know I won’t be able to be as honest with my hubby listening, there’s lots I’ve not told him. 

Children
  • in reply to Skylark

    Just click on your NASxxx username in your post above to view your profile, and there should be an "edit profile" button (on the right-hand side on a PC). You can also get to your profile via the icon at the top right of the page. On mobile you may need to go via the ☰ hamburger menu.

    Skylark said:
    they are saying I have to take someone

    Mine was a Zoom call at home by myself. There is NO obligation on you bringing anyone to your assessment if you don't want to... I suspect they suggest it for 2 reasons... moral support for you & a 3rd party perspective on your behaviours.

    In my opinion being able to speak freely is very important. I suggest you get in contact with your assessor and explain the situation.

    Perhaps you can get your husband to write down his perspective on your autism to give to the assessor?

    Please excuse the following observation if it's inappropriate... I know nothing about your relationship with your husband, and what dire deeds you are hiding from him!

    I would argue your partner should be fully aware of your autism and experiences in order to best help you. EG: Before I realised I was autistic, my wife had no idea how stressful some apparently benign activities (like visiting her family or watching fireworks) were for me... I masked so effectively she just didn't realise... but they had huge cost for me.

    If I were you, I would do the assessment without him, but perhaps use the diagnosis when it comes as an opportunity to bare all to your man.