Ultramarine - assessment update

I have a feeling if you are paying for s private assessment and the result is you are not autistic, you'll still get information in a report about yourself. I thought the Lorna Wing Centre was supposed to be one of the best ones so I'm sure you haven't got anything to worry about. 

Hi Moon,

I'm very sorry to hear that your wife's health is getting worse at the moment.  It must be a really difficult time.  

It sounds like there are different stages of coming to terms with being autistic.  It sounds like you processed it quite a lot after your self-diagnosis, but then getting the official diagnosis brought new emotions to the surface.

PS - when I say 'coming to terms with being autistic', I don't mean that necessarily in a negative sense.  For me at least, making that discovery has been quite a positive thing, even though processing it has been difficult.

Thanks, Out_of_step.  The best idea I've had, that might help to cope with the uncertainty, is that if they tell me I'm not autistic, then I will just conclude that I "have autistic traits" and will use all the info that I've learnt so far about autism to help me cope with these traits.  I also might look for a second opinion.  Having these plans is helping me feel a bit less nervous.

I was assessed by NELFT in East London.

I think I worked through most of my emotional response to being autistic when I first self-diagnosed a few years back - I'm very pleased to understand my past behaviours.

I was emotional for a few hours after the video call (which ended with her suggesting I was text-book aspergers).

Unfortunately my diagnosis has been overshadowed by my wifes deteriorating physical & mental health, so I am firmly in defense/desperate coping mode.

There are still days I doubt my diagnosis but I'm glad I saw them in person. My assessment was between 2 -3 hours. But this was split in two.  Ados and developmental questionnaire. I too also handed in loads of notes. 

I know it's a nervous time, waiting and going through the assessment. It's many unknowns which on the whole, we aren't good at dealing with. But everyone here has gone through it. A full day does sound like a lot and very comprehensive. I'm sure the assessors will be very experienced, they know what they are looking for and a few hours would probably be enough.

Hello Moon,

Thanks for your reply.  It's great to hear that you had a positive experience of being assessed by video call.  Which centre assessed you?  My GP was going to refer me to the Maudsley Centre, and she said it was 'at least six months' waiting time there as well, so I wonder if you went to the same place.

I decided to go privately to the Lorna Wing Centre because I knew they specialised in diagnosing women, and I was afraid of not being believed.  I had also heard that the average wait elsewhere was two years, and possibly longer due to the pandemic.  There used to be a shorter waiting time at the LWC too, but they got behind with their assessments because they had to close the centre during each lockdown.

You've made a very good point, that video assessments don't require travelling to an unfamiliar location, and I wouldn't have to worry about train delays etc.

I think I'm still going to go with face-to-face, in case the assessor makes a conclusion that I don't agree with.  If that happened, I would want to know that they had had the best circumstances possible to assess me.

How are you feeling about your new diagnosis?

A few months ago the NHS gave me a choice of booking a video assessment in two months, or on a waiting list of at least 6 months for face to face.

I opted for the video consultation and had it a few weeks back. I was extremely nervous at the prospect of not being believed, and I too was worried about my masking (forged in boarding school and perfected over 4 decades).

The assessment was with a single assessor and took ~3 hours, but didn't feel rushed - I had plenty of time to answer questions in as much detail as I wanted.

I had prepared many pages of notes on my current autistic behaviours, and also as many incidents I could remember from my past that I felt were caused by my autism. I only ended up referring to them a few times though.

In retrospect I don't think the masking worry was warranted... we had a good long discussion on how, when & with whom my masking manifests... including exactly what I was masking during the interview itself.

All things being equal I would probably opt for the face to face, but the video assessment was fine... and it did mean I could attend in my pyjamas and conduct it from my "safe space"... so I could focus on the questions instead of stressing about an unfamilar environment.

Hi Out_of_step,

Thanks for your reply.  How are you?

Yes, I agree with you, the in-person assessment would be better for peace of mind.  If I had the video assessment and they come to a conclusion that I didn't agree with, it would be difficult to challenge that, and I might be wondering whether they would have made a different conclusion if they had seen me there in person.

How many hours were your assessments in total?  It looks like mine is only going to be three hours or so in total.  I was surprised, because I was expecting my assessment to be a full day.  But I did send them loads of information, like pages of written memories from childhood, school reports, mental health reports, etc.

Maybe get advice from them...if you think you might be difficult to assess. For me, my option was one place via video or another with in person + video.  I chose the second one because I felt I would get a fairer hearing, I know myself I mask a lot. It was in person for the assessment tasks and video for the developmental interview. To be honest I think the place you have chosen will have very experienced people so you might be ok with video. But maybe for peace of mind take the in person assessment if it's only one or two months longer.