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How do I tell someone I think I'm autistic?

Meerkatz

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a number of years now, I'm 25, and have been through counselling and medication which haven't helped much. I have also suspected for a number of years that I am on the autistic spectrum but I feel like I'm making this up to cover for my mental health problems. I associate with most autistic traits and with a lot of people's own stories on this site. For years now I have tried to forget about it and tried to just get on with my life and get better but coming out of lockdown and starting to see my friends again has been incredibly challenging.

Me and my Councillor had spoken about the possibility that I am autistic but I didn't get on with him as he was really impatient with me when I struggled to communicate with him. I called my doctor as well to ask about a diagnosis but was basically told I was talking rubbish. This makes it really hard to reach now when I'm struggling the most.

It's not that I'm just looking to be diagnosed for the sake of it, even though my anxiety makes me feel like this. My friends want to help me get better and I think that if I was able to approach the subject with them or my mum then they would be able to understand how I feel and why I do the things I do. For example, a few of us were up late to watch wrestling and I just sat queit the full night because I felt so disconnected and had to go downstairs to sit by myself for a while.

How has anyone else approached the subject with a friend or family member, or would it be easier to not say anything and either try with my doctor again or just try to cope with it somehow?

I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense but I'm not really making much sense in my head either.

  • in reply to Kstar

    Thank you for this, i feel like I've been on a similar path to you and just want to get to the end.

    If you don't mind me asking, how did you reach out to your local mental health service?

  • in reply to Daniel

    You're right, god I'm so autistic sometimes, yes my reply was meant for Meerkatz, thanks for pointing that out Daniel.

  • in reply to Kstar

    I think you meant to respond to Meerkatz.

    I were diagnosed in 1994 on The Autism Spectrum. 

  • Hi Daniel

    I just got my diagnosis so I feel like an expert on the subject now lol, anyway I approached my Doctor about the possibility of being autistic many years ago and he was very dismissive of it so it kind of died there for a while.

    Then I had a bit of meltdown years later and my long term relationship disintegrated, and I had some really dark days where I seriously contemplated suicide down to planning it, then I reached out to my local mental health services and repeated my suspicions to them and they were much more helpful and got me a referral.

    So I think some health experts even now are quite dismissive, and some are more understanding and open, your councillor sounds like a waste of space, you should find somebody else in my opinion.

    Good luck Daniel and don't give up on it just because one  person dismissed your suspicions.

  • in reply to Meerkatz

    How much do your friends know about Autism?

    Sometimes I get people to ask themselves what I want to ask them. You could say what you find challenging and ask them why do they think you find it challenging.

    Like from what you've shared above you could say, "do any of you know why I felt the need to go downstairs on myself for a little bit?" 

    After asking them to think to themselves about your challenges they might come to the conclusion themselves you're possibly on the spectrum.

  • in reply to Daniel

    Daniel,

    Thank you for taking the time to reply. I think starting talking with my friends and then maybe a doctor would be easier as I guess it's easier to open up to someone you trust.

    I've tried explaining some of my challenges but it can be hard to put into words without actually saying that I might be on the spectrum.

  • Meerkatz,

    I would tell them, when I get asked to introduce and say something about myself I always say "I'm Daniel and I'm autistic." 

    Autism has become very popular in our societies that even those not related to anyone autistic has a level of knowledge. People understanding makes things easier and more comforting, the majority of people are uncomfortable around the people they don't understand, so it's always better to build an understanding.

    Tell them about your experiences that make you feel like you're autistic and ask your friends if they think it's possible, like share what happened between you and your counselor.