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Difficulty making friends- Lonley

Billy87

I don't really have any friends and I am so lonley 

Every group of friends I had when I was younger are all still friends with each other and not with me and I dont understand why.

I spent years not wanting friends and not caring about not having them but now I really want them again and I cant make them. The only friends I have are online friends. For instance, my two closest friends, one i have never met in 15 years of knowing her and the other I havnt seen for 2 years. They both live on the other side of the world. 

I made a friend at work but i had an autistic meltdown on her and it ruined the friendship. Now she makes excueses not to see me and hardly talks to me. I know I pushed her away cos I've been hurt by so many people that Im terrified of getting close to anyone and I push them away when they get close

I never understand when I'm annoying people and I find having friends so stressful because I cant tell what theyre thinking and I can never read all the social cues everyone else understands so easily.
I also get incredibly insecure with people when I get close to them. Because I cant understand normal human interactions and cant tell when people are joking or serious I get very anxious and assume the worst of everyone. 
Im so lonley. I just wish I could have one close friend to spend time with. Not all the time though as I cant cope with seeing people too often and I get really stressed about having to mesage people in the evening when Im home with my family.

Also I feel so much more comfortable around women, most of my closest friends in life have been female. Ive never understood the male macho thing where you have to prove how manly you are all the time and that intimidates me around men 

Parents

  • I feel this, when I try and act normal, I get socially tired and then people find out and think I'm pretending to be someone I'm not and the friendships don't last and when I act like myself then people just don't seem to want to talk to me.

    Even when I start conversations and try to out myself out there, I just seemed to be ignored or looked at weirdly and the loneliness is starting to become physically painful now :(

  • in reply to NAS75276

    Thank you for this. I have never understood why, after a couple of weeks of acting "normally" and getting on with everyone I always seem to have a huge meltdown and ruin things with people. I always thought I had some sort of self destructive streak but now I see it was social tiredness from the strain of trying to be "normal" for that long.
    Id never heard the phrase socially tired before, it relaly helps 

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  • in reply to NAS75276

    Thank you for this. I have never understood why, after a couple of weeks of acting "normally" and getting on with everyone I always seem to have a huge meltdown and ruin things with people. I always thought I had some sort of self destructive streak but now I see it was social tiredness from the strain of trying to be "normal" for that long.
    Id never heard the phrase socially tired before, it relaly helps 

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