Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
As a recently diagnosed older person, I am now starting to realize, after reading a lot of other People's stuff on this site, that I have been masking more or less my whole life.
Some say you should drop the mask now that you know you have as, and show your real self.
I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea- for me anyway.
The masking I've developed over the last 50 years or so seems to get me bye, and is more or less socially acceptable (when I can keep it up, which is most of the time)
But when I really look at the 'real' me, I don't think it would be a good idea to show myself.
The real me doesn't seem to like others (in the main), and can be mean spirited, shy and recluse and judgemental.
Is this real me what autism is?
If so should I carry on with the masking, and try to subdue the real me?
Does anyone else think this
I have been thinking this a lot lately , I haven’t been diagnosed yet, still a learning curve for me, not that I dislike people but I always feel happier in my own company, I’ve always struggled in social situations never know how to feel or what to do or say, constant feeling someone’s judging me.
That is a sort of 'performance anxiety', because so many aspects of socialising, that come subconsciously to neurotypicals, require intellectual input we are 'putting on a show' and are always in fear of forgetting our lines and 'stage directions'.