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Masking- your thoughts appreciated

Jazzydave
over 3 years ago

Hi all, would appreciate your thoughts on this.

As a recently diagnosed older person, I am now starting to realize, after reading a lot of other People's stuff on this site, that I have been masking more or less my whole life.

Some say you should drop the mask now that you know you have as, and show your real self.

I have given this a lot of thought over the last few days, and I'm not sure if it's a good idea- for me anyway.

The masking I've developed over the last 50 years or so seems to get me bye, and is more or less socially acceptable (when I can keep it up, which is most of the time)

But when I really look at the 'real' me, I don't think it would be a good idea to show myself.

The real me doesn't seem to like others (in the main), and can be mean spirited, shy and recluse and judgemental.

Is this real me what autism is? 

If so should I carry on with the masking, and try to subdue the real me?

Does anyone else think this

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Hi. I'm diagnosed around 50 also.

    Since then I tried to mask less around other people... but realised it just won't work for me - it just feels...  wrong, and fraught with possibility for misunderstanding.

    I think I benefit far more from my interactions with the NT world when masked - and I certainly enjoy them more.

    However, like many autists I find masking extremely exhausting, and now that I realise I'm doing it, it feels like picking up a heavy weight whenever I have to don it to face the world.

    The only person who really sees behind my mask is my wife - and that's only because I can't wear it 24/7 and her poor health means I am very rarely alone. I would prefer her to see the chilled, composed masked me, but we are where we are.

    My #1 life priority now is to move to the country and ensure I spend more time alone than in any company. *** knows how I'll make it happen though.

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    Hi. I'm diagnosed around 50 also.

    Since then I tried to mask less around other people... but realised it just won't work for me - it just feels...  wrong, and fraught with possibility for misunderstanding.

    I think I benefit far more from my interactions with the NT world when masked - and I certainly enjoy them more.

    However, like many autists I find masking extremely exhausting, and now that I realise I'm doing it, it feels like picking up a heavy weight whenever I have to don it to face the world.

    The only person who really sees behind my mask is my wife - and that's only because I can't wear it 24/7 and her poor health means I am very rarely alone. I would prefer her to see the chilled, composed masked me, but we are where we are.

    My #1 life priority now is to move to the country and ensure I spend more time alone than in any company. *** knows how I'll make it happen though.

Children