Constructive euphemisms?

The usual deal is, of course, that you try to tell someone what you have recently discovered for yourself , and you get back the standard, " We're all a bit  *****". I personally can't think of a single case when it has really helped me for someone to say that; except perhaps when admitting it to myself or the diagnostician/assessor. So how could we phrase it some other way to disarm that reaction before it even begins to happen. I've taken, online, to just calling myself ''a bit slow''; as in 'Well, you know me, I've always been a bit slow off the mark". That does have a certain grain of truth in it, in my case; and I just sort of figure that their reaction is either then going to be something like, 'Well, I suppose I have might just have similar issues myself", or they are going to clam up completely, to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

You know, when you are young, nearly everyone one believes it is their god-given right to be completely and devastating candid about what they think YOUR problem is; while the exact same people when older will basically backpedal on all the scorn they offered you in your younger years. In their rush to be the quickest off the mark in the monetarist olympics of life, I can't really imagine anyone really wanting to say, "Well, we are all a bit slow sometimes''. And yet in my case, there is a grain of truth in it.

I've also been trying out 'neural damage'; as I can see how it might well have happened as a result of childhood sickness; and I have no real compunction about saying this about myself; why worry yourself about those fairly neutral words when the damage was obviously done decades ago. And I doubt whether too many people would then wish to contest such a blunt statement by citing a few of their own minor neurological issues.

But how about other 'alt' ways to relabel your life as something just a little bit different from the much maligned ASD/Asperger's thing? I'm just wondering if someone here might be able to come up with some real scorchers, to hex the  "We're all a bit  *****" bs; something that will make the listener go away for a while and ponder why you didn't come straight out with some stereotyped label that they could instantly and easily be dismissive of. I look forward to perhaps trying a few of your suggestions out; almost anything would be better that the complete silence that usually follows  "We're all a bit  *****".

But seriously, I can see myself enjoying this. I have found the ''a bit slow'' label a fairly constructive one, over the decades. It is something that can be later elaborated on, at length; or it can get people wondering why you didn't immediately use one of the more current 'labels'.

But I also wouldn't be too surprised if some folk think this is a dreadful idea. I'd still like to hear why! :-) If so, how else could one disarm the usual hackneyed NT response? I think I'm looking more for cheerful strategies, rather than sullen upheaval.

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  • Basically, the quickest way to justify my own choice of a low-key way of life. I wouldn't really need to justify it if no one ever really disapproved of that choice. But they often go out of their way to disapprove of it; even though I mostly try to avoid getting into situations that might provoke disapproval. And I suppose that my own dissatisfaction is mostly with their need to disapprove. Why can't they accept that some people deliberately choose a low-risk life as a means to cope with their own perception of their own shortcomings? Especially as I find time and time again that things work out better for me when I figure out my own approach, and learn from my own mistakes. When some authorities say that we learn from our mistakes, I take that viewpoint very seriously. It seems I need to work through the process of being successful (in my own terms) by finding my own way through the usual difficulties. But I also believe in taking my time in order to consider the different approaches taken by other people; but not under any intense duress from those same people to do things exactly the same way as themselves. And yes, it can be a slow process; although sometimes quicker in the longer term. 

    I suppose my rather convoluted job history makes it fairly clear that this life in the slow lane is not really appreciated by most people who believe themselves to be highly dynamic. Oh well, there's always someone else who IS prepared to work at breakneck speed; and they deserve the break! I have continued to look for a suitable career for myself, and without any expectation of being paid well, and with multiple benefits. I have long lived within a comparatively low level of remuneration; one which I believe will be fairly sustainable under 'new normal' conditions.

    I now feel it is not necessary for me to ever reveal my self-identification and  my assessments. It has been clearly indicated to me that the A word is not one that most people ever want to hear, so I see no reason why I shouldn't find other ways to describe the way I prefer to run things. and yet I have found numerous ways to adapt to other people's preferred conduct, and to learn from their examples.

  • Yes, thank you, 180 Slight smile  I offered the maxim below as a solution.

    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind. — Dr. Seuss