Constructive euphemisms?

The usual deal is, of course, that you try to tell someone what you have recently discovered for yourself , and you get back the standard, " We're all a bit  *****". I personally can't think of a single case when it has really helped me for someone to say that; except perhaps when admitting it to myself or the diagnostician/assessor. So how could we phrase it some other way to disarm that reaction before it even begins to happen. I've taken, online, to just calling myself ''a bit slow''; as in 'Well, you know me, I've always been a bit slow off the mark". That does have a certain grain of truth in it, in my case; and I just sort of figure that their reaction is either then going to be something like, 'Well, I suppose I have might just have similar issues myself", or they are going to clam up completely, to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

You know, when you are young, nearly everyone one believes it is their god-given right to be completely and devastating candid about what they think YOUR problem is; while the exact same people when older will basically backpedal on all the scorn they offered you in your younger years. In their rush to be the quickest off the mark in the monetarist olympics of life, I can't really imagine anyone really wanting to say, "Well, we are all a bit slow sometimes''. And yet in my case, there is a grain of truth in it.

I've also been trying out 'neural damage'; as I can see how it might well have happened as a result of childhood sickness; and I have no real compunction about saying this about myself; why worry yourself about those fairly neutral words when the damage was obviously done decades ago. And I doubt whether too many people would then wish to contest such a blunt statement by citing a few of their own minor neurological issues.

But how about other 'alt' ways to relabel your life as something just a little bit different from the much maligned ASD/Asperger's thing? I'm just wondering if someone here might be able to come up with some real scorchers, to hex the  "We're all a bit  *****" bs; something that will make the listener go away for a while and ponder why you didn't come straight out with some stereotyped label that they could instantly and easily be dismissive of. I look forward to perhaps trying a few of your suggestions out; almost anything would be better that the complete silence that usually follows  "We're all a bit  *****".

But seriously, I can see myself enjoying this. I have found the ''a bit slow'' label a fairly constructive one, over the decades. It is something that can be later elaborated on, at length; or it can get people wondering why you didn't immediately use one of the more current 'labels'.

But I also wouldn't be too surprised if some folk think this is a dreadful idea. I'd still like to hear why! :-) If so, how else could one disarm the usual hackneyed NT response? I think I'm looking more for cheerful strategies, rather than sullen upheaval.

Parents
  • Something which I've taken to telling myself is "it takes me a while to process..." I think I've said this aloud to others. I don't know how accurate it actuslly is.  It's a bit more vague though. I don't know if I'd be happy saying I'm a bit slow. I'm actually quite quick on a lot of things which is why people are surprised when I tell them I'm on the spectrum.

    I think when people say "we are all a bit..." they're trying to help normalise things. But when i dont feel normal, their sentiments don't match up with what I believe.

  • Thanks! Yes, that sounds rather like something I quite often say to my partner. Indeed, there might be more truth in that than some of my earlier examples. I have obvious problems with processing in noisy and confusing environments; such as the one in which I live. Far more distractions than the UK for instance. But as a real local, she finds it extremely hard to understand this line. However, the idea that I might perhaps be on the spectrum was completely untenable, so the processing speed argument made a good standpoint to retreat to. I too can be remarkably 'quick' on some things, but they are not the sort of things that most 'modern-day' working people (both UK & here) really appreciate; so overall, I just prefer to say 'slow' for convenience sake.

Reply
  • Thanks! Yes, that sounds rather like something I quite often say to my partner. Indeed, there might be more truth in that than some of my earlier examples. I have obvious problems with processing in noisy and confusing environments; such as the one in which I live. Far more distractions than the UK for instance. But as a real local, she finds it extremely hard to understand this line. However, the idea that I might perhaps be on the spectrum was completely untenable, so the processing speed argument made a good standpoint to retreat to. I too can be remarkably 'quick' on some things, but they are not the sort of things that most 'modern-day' working people (both UK & here) really appreciate; so overall, I just prefer to say 'slow' for convenience sake.

Children
  • Yes, there are similarities in processing. There are also similarities in politics; which is why a UK response in this day and age might not differ that significantly from a response here. We live in times of populist denial, in both places. 

    Perhaps there is a double whammy effect. I have taught ESOL myself, but I suppose I personally have quite a few problems with other languages; and that could be attributed to slowness, ADHD, autism/asperger's or just plain old-fashioned neural damage. (There is some evidence of the latter - another reason why I don't always want to keep using last-year's labels.) It could just be that 'slowness' is as good a 'fit' as any.

    Cheers!

  • So you are living in a different country but English is your first language? I teach people who live in the UK whose first language is not English and have quite a few "foreign" friends. I feel there are some similarities between how we process things.

    Do you feel like you have a double whammy of autism + some language barriers? Do you feel your autism fits in better because of this? Sorry, just being curious. You don't have to answer!