Constructive euphemisms?

The usual deal is, of course, that you try to tell someone what you have recently discovered for yourself , and you get back the standard, " We're all a bit  *****". I personally can't think of a single case when it has really helped me for someone to say that; except perhaps when admitting it to myself or the diagnostician/assessor. So how could we phrase it some other way to disarm that reaction before it even begins to happen. I've taken, online, to just calling myself ''a bit slow''; as in 'Well, you know me, I've always been a bit slow off the mark". That does have a certain grain of truth in it, in my case; and I just sort of figure that their reaction is either then going to be something like, 'Well, I suppose I have might just have similar issues myself", or they are going to clam up completely, to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

You know, when you are young, nearly everyone one believes it is their god-given right to be completely and devastating candid about what they think YOUR problem is; while the exact same people when older will basically backpedal on all the scorn they offered you in your younger years. In their rush to be the quickest off the mark in the monetarist olympics of life, I can't really imagine anyone really wanting to say, "Well, we are all a bit slow sometimes''. And yet in my case, there is a grain of truth in it.

I've also been trying out 'neural damage'; as I can see how it might well have happened as a result of childhood sickness; and I have no real compunction about saying this about myself; why worry yourself about those fairly neutral words when the damage was obviously done decades ago. And I doubt whether too many people would then wish to contest such a blunt statement by citing a few of their own minor neurological issues.

But how about other 'alt' ways to relabel your life as something just a little bit different from the much maligned ASD/Asperger's thing? I'm just wondering if someone here might be able to come up with some real scorchers, to hex the  "We're all a bit  *****" bs; something that will make the listener go away for a while and ponder why you didn't come straight out with some stereotyped label that they could instantly and easily be dismissive of. I look forward to perhaps trying a few of your suggestions out; almost anything would be better that the complete silence that usually follows  "We're all a bit  *****".

But seriously, I can see myself enjoying this. I have found the ''a bit slow'' label a fairly constructive one, over the decades. It is something that can be later elaborated on, at length; or it can get people wondering why you didn't immediately use one of the more current 'labels'.

But I also wouldn't be too surprised if some folk think this is a dreadful idea. I'd still like to hear why! :-) If so, how else could one disarm the usual hackneyed NT response? I think I'm looking more for cheerful strategies, rather than sullen upheaval.

Parents
  • Not road-tested yet, but it might go something like...

    NT: Why can't you just do X ?

    Me: because I'm an autist and it's difficult for me.

    NT: Well we're all a little bit autistic aren't we? Just get on with it.

    Me:  <menacing tone, furious eyelid twitching> maybe... but for me it's pathological.

    NT: <laughs nervously and sidles off>

Reply
  • Not road-tested yet, but it might go something like...

    NT: Why can't you just do X ?

    Me: because I'm an autist and it's difficult for me.

    NT: Well we're all a little bit autistic aren't we? Just get on with it.

    Me:  <menacing tone, furious eyelid twitching> maybe... but for me it's pathological.

    NT: <laughs nervously and sidles off>

Children
  • Cheers! I doubt that would work for me, though; as I will better explain below. ;-) in the UK order of things, I might just be stating the completely obvious, but not so here. (And if it is still a bit too obvious, I can only say that this is the way I continue to think as a fully-paid up member of the bungled & botched. There won't be any apologies for that.

    I fully intend to road-test a few 'oblique justifications' for my lifelong behaviour, in order to keep my mind active during lock-down; because it is blindly obvious that I am never going to be allowed to express them in a more direct manner. I'm not in the UK. I'm a long-term expat, far abroad.

    As I sort of indicated above, I seem to be more than a bit AD(H)D, but without so much H. So I would be saying here something like I can't keep up with the normal speed of local mental processing, and their renowned multitasking ability. I don't necessarily have that much difficulty with practical tasks (I have quite a few manual and mental skills). I prefer to work on projects in a fairly solitary manner. And when people put me under pressure from multiple standpoints, I really can't handle it. And it is almost like people revel in being able to expose that 'weakness' so easily. If you like, it seems that they are using my 'weakness' to underline their perception of themselves as somehow far superior to incomers such as myself. But that is something that my largely solitary-working self will never really quite go along with; even though I definitely prefer NOT to air my issues in public here.

    My partner would say she lives in a team-working culture, but my own idea is that there are certain people in that 'team' who really don't do much more team-working than putting intense pressure on lower status others to do all the real grunt work. And they really do not like any real form of occupational backchat. And so I inevitably have to be fairly subtle in the way I express my occasional difficulties. For instance, I'm never going to use the A word here, because ever admitting you are an adult autistic here is like putting yourself completely beyond the pale. For adult team members to even suggest that they might be autistic, would be to disrespect those higher status people who could quite easily be perceived as  'autistic' themselves, but which they will never admit, because it would lead to instant loss of (the all important) 'face'. As a low-income expat here, I am basically very low on the social ladder, and too much obvious critical thinking from myself would probably lead to my expulsion.

    So it is extremely difficult to really get one's points over here; but I suppose I might just as well have a bit of fun attempting to do just that in a roundabout manner.