Episodic memory

I'm just wondering if my memory problems are relatively common among those with ASC or if this is a totally separate thing. I have little difficulty remembering facts or procedures - my problem is purely related to episodic memory. If i think back to an event I attended in either the recent or distant past I could relate a few facts about the event, but its as if they are facts told to me by someone else. I have no personal connection to the event. For example if I think back to funerals or weddings I've been to there is no recollection of my emotions at the time. In no way am I reliving those events in my mind. I am totally unable to remember / imagine what I was like at a younger stage of my life. Its as though my entire life simply consists of now. 

  • I wonder if these ‘inabilities’ are subconscious defences against the effects of over sensitivity?   I can visualise and I can engage with capacities but the associated reality of sensory ‘overload’ seems unbearable.  It’s almost as if my subconscious self is jumping to protect me by techniques I don’t need to understand.  The problem is that I’m left with consequent deprivation of certain natural talents, capacities and abilities which would otherwise be natural and available to me. 
    Thus I have disorder in being on the autism spectrum. 

  • Think you may well be onto something as I have aphantasia too. If if try to conjure up any image at all, including family its a total blank. I can't even picture the room I'm in right now if I close my eyes. All the info must be stored somehow though because I could describe where everything is in the room very accurately.

  • Ditto. I remember snapshots of details from some childhood events, but not much. I wonder how 40 years of life can be squeezed into just a smattering of memories.

    I think it's linked to my aphantasia. I can't picture my wife's or children's faces. In fact I cannot bring up a mental image of anything. Or a mental recollection of any other sense for that matter.

    So I store life events like data to be examined, but without the ability to re-experience them emotionally. And obviously there is a limit to how much info I can recall.

    That said I do have the ability to have memories triggered (in their data form) by things I see. So I often remember obscure facts randomly when I am out and about. It makes me appear distracted, which has caused me some problems as I come across as rude/daydreaming.

  • Fascinating to read these comments.  It’s strange that I feel unable to achieve again those goals once achieved.  I somehow was motivated to complete work with incredible commitment almost as if it was a ‘once-off’ but now I have zero motivation to do bother to put in the effort.  It is as if something outside my awareness gets to decide what my passions and interests are.   
    oops I just realised I might seem to be off topic 

    I was relating to the idea of my past work being done by someone else 

    in terms of memory I memorised literally a history book for an exam and got close to 100%.  Other students told me that it was impossible to get that mark. But I had memorised the teacher’s relevant text notes word for word.  My mother gave me memory tips 

    the next exam I wasn’t motivated partly because my mother was focusing on helping my older brother achieve in state exams.  I seem to depend on outside power/s to get things done.  I seem to be just a depressed bit of fluff hanging around life otherwise. 

    I forget painful feelings with all my might but this just makes their inevitable occurrences all the more shocking and traumatic 

  • Yes, that article is definitely describing the way my memory works. !'d never really thought about this for most of my life, just assumed everyone was like me. The realisation came when I made friends with a guy who has the exact opposite. For instance, ask him when he first met a person, he'll not only tell you where and when, but also what the guy was wearing, how hot the day was, what he was doing just before meeting them, what his first impressions were etc etc.

  • Friends/family reminiscing about stuff is often like this for me, although this is obviously exaggerated for comedic effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLVrNht9q_0

    (really sorry about the quality, I couldn't find better)

  • It's almost like reading the life of a different person.

    Exactly!

  • I have very poor episodic memory., but a really good memory for facts and figures. Apparently it's typical for men to have a poorer memory for events and people compared to women, and autism could be considered as that taken to the extreme.

    I don't remember huge parts of my childhood. My sister or mum will tell me about some holiday we went on and I have no recollection, but I can tell them every phone number we ever had, the make and model and number plate of every car we had, etc.

    I've started keeping a journal and it's weird and interesting to read entries from 4 years ago. It's almost like reading the life of a different person.

  • I think I'm quite similar. I remember things that I did. But no longer have any kind of emotional connection to them. It's almost like I'm thinking about it like it was someone else. For example, I made a corset at uni. It was very complicated and had about 36 panels. I was very proud of the achievement as it took a considerable amount of time and looked beautiful when it was on the model. I look at the same corset now, and while the memories are there, I don't feel like this bit of fabric and metal was ever made by my hands. Don't even ask me about family gatherings. They could all be one and the same for all I know. All I can remember is they were very unpleasant. 

  • I read that when it comes to memory, people on the spectrum tend to have either superior memory or very poor memory or have great memory just for certain things/details. I, for example, have a very similar problem with thinking back to past events and figuring out my emotions at that time (though it gets better with therapy a bit). I also have a problem with memorizing colours or spatial arrangement of things in a room, but I have an excellent memory for details about someone's life and struggles or about languages.