Hello, I like being an autistic person.
I found this website a couple of months ago and I am very pleased to be an HSP. I would like to give you an insight on what it is like for me to live as a Highly Sensitive Person.
I am very happy and pleased to be an HSP. These are my positive points below.
I am moved by beauty in classical music and art, because I like how dramatic it is in some parts, especially in my favourite piece - Tchaikovsky's Pathetique. I often spend time alone because I like my own company and I get to be in my own thoughts without people judging me. I also ask big questions, like 'how did life get on Earth'?, to my family sometimes.
I have schedules throughout the day because I like the idea and like planning things out. I'm a people pleaser and I try hard not to upset anyone and I try to be polite to everyone. My hobbies are the Solar System, the planets, Tchaikovsky and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. I like rewatching some videos about the topics over and over again because I like them. At the end of the day, I like listening to classical music to help me relax and go to sleep in a dark room.
However, there are some challenges and negatives that I face as a HSP and I would like help and advice with them.
I don't like it when people raise their voice at me and I don't like conflict. For example, when I try to be myself and take my time to get somewhere causes conflict, because Mum rushes me and I like to take my time. She races ahead of me and I think and worry I will get lost because she won't wait for me so I have to catch up. I go at my own pace when I feel it is safe for me to do so, to prevent being lost. However, Mum doesn't understand that. On Tuesday, she threatened to set the smoke alarm off when I was taking my time to get out of the house to go to youth club when I wasn't ready and she knows that I feel uncomfortable when it goes off, so I rushed because I was worrying about it and I wasn't ready. Mum then tells me to grow up and get over it. I didn't choose to be sensitive and she doesn't help or doesn't seem to understand me.
I don't like being sneaked up on because it makes me jump and I'm a very jumpy person. I worry about some things too, such as what people are thinking about me and them being judgmental when they aren't. Whenever I say no to things people want me to do, I feel guilty because I think I have upset people. I also don't like to talk about certain topics and hide some thoughts from people because I feel like I will be criticised.
I despise loud noises, as I said earlier, such as fire alarms at college and smoke alarms. Luckily the people at youth club always warn me before planned fire drills so I can sit outside prior to the drill which is very nice of them. If people don't tell me, I jump when it goes off and it is a nightmare for me to deal with. Headphones always help me a great deal with those painful things. Also, my leader said they were going to do a fire drill the day before it was planned in March. I worried all night because she wouldn't let me wear headphones to cover the dreadful noise. I told the office and they wouldn't address the problem. They simply got my leader. She said 'You are naughty'. I think I'm not naughty because I don't like fire drills. (I told her when I began college the year before that I don't like fire drills at all). I think she forgot about me being a highly sensitive person. They let me go outside just before the fire drill and that helped me alot.
I let criticism and words get to me and upset me for some time even after I know the things aren't true about me. It just stays in my head. Mum disapproves of me watching videos about Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and says I get obsessed. I really like and am interested in Prince Philip. Often, I don't like busy places because I feel uncomfortable and can't be myself sometimes.
Other people's moods affect me and when they are upset I think to myself, 'is it because of me?'. I have great expectations of myself and my activities, and when I fail to reach them I get upset about myself. I am a vegetarian so I don't believe animals should be killed for their meat because I think it is horrible for the animals to experience that. I get upset about that.
Everyone and my mum always expects me to act as an non-HSP, which causes arguments between myself and them and I don't want that anymore.
I like being myself and I am very proud to be a HSP.
Can you give me advice please.
Thank you very much,
Best
