Nearing the end

nice tthought, but for a long time it was cold water, but now there seems nothing

When the Receptive 'here-and-now' sensibilities of people are powered down due to inadequate or inappropriate facilitations, identifications and affirmations during their upbringing, education and so forth ~ as to lesser or greater extents being unbefitting or abusive in character ~ the Protective and the Projective states of mind become programmed and conditioned with obstructive behaviourisms and corruptive intellectualisations.

Hence people comfort eat, chain smoke, self harm or harm others ~ with the most severe cases involving considerable psychotic disassociation and or sociopathic tendencies, that can range from short lived outbursts to persistent compulsions.

In terms of Transactional Analysis (TA) ~ our receptive Adult sensibilities are obstructed by 'wounded' Child ego-states and corrupted by 'critical' Parent ego-states ~ with Child ego-states being feelings, thoughts and actions that are traumatically fragmented and partly or wholly relived from our childhood, and Parent ego-states being feelings, thoughts and actions that are behaviourally and intellectually mimicked with and modelled from parents, teachers and other authority figures during childhood and on through adulthood, to whatever extent.

So basically each obstruction of childhood development results in an unmet need, with the corruption being what our parents and other authorities figures wanted instead from us as far as our behaviour went ~ so with the chain-smoking example one unmet need is quite often water, being that the chain-smoker is not thirsty for another cigarette so cannot stop smoking cigarette after cigarette after cigarette, so learning to recognise the corrupting characteristics of the parental / authoritarian injunctions can help us to work out what original needs are not being met.      

Fortunately the injunctive themes are only five in number, and are referred to as Drivers in TA listed as follows:

1.) Be Perfect

2.) Be Strong

3.) Try Hard

4.) Please Others

5.) Hurry Up

Perhaps obviously for many on the spectrum 'Be Perfect' is a quite common driver what with Allistic behaviourisms being preferred, and Autistic ones not so much or even at all really, but none the less all the drivers are involved to various percentiles regarding broader or narrower ranges of activities, and in learning more and more to recognise the character of our authoritarian drivers ~ we become more and more and conscious of them rather than unconsciously driven by them, and we can resist them as such and thereby deduce what needs needing to met ~ or if if not a TA qualified or experienced therapist can help us, or failing that using the Second Edition of TA Today A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis as it is or was the training manual.

is there anything you still enjoy? 

can you accept that not every battle can be won?

it doesn't make you less of a person that some people got one over on you.