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Feelings of frustration related to sexuality

Dude from Argentina

Hello!. My name's Fede (I didn't know how to change my stupid nickname), but as you can see, I'm a man, age 28, from inner Buenos Aires, Argentina.

I resort to this website at the same time that I congratulate the United Kingdom government for having such a Society. Here in Argentina there are only groups of parents, nothing for the autistic adults.

I am here to ask for advice about my sexuality and whether anyone experienced it. I'm nearing my 29th birthday in Sept. and I have tremendous hindrance when socializing, and it has impeded me from developing a bond where to release sexual frustration.

I DO know that sex itself is not the most important part of life, but at 28, almost 29, it's taking a heavy toll. I am also part of the gay community, and I have not found another guy to whom I can explicitly ask to have sexuality with him, and mum has warned me that things don't work that way either, that I must build a confidence first before asking for intimacy, which makes me desperate.

I compare myself to other guys my age and it also drives me crazy. 

My specific question is: Is there any tool besides of those given to me by psychologist to deal with sexual frustration? I've started to do gym and it helps me lots, but in thought I am still "angry" regarding that. 

How was your experience as an autistic adult? 

Well, from Argentina, a huge hug to the National Autistic Society, this forum's members and everyone out there. I send you a hug and I love you all. 

PS: I'm not "materialistic". I want love instead of sex, but sometimes the sexual thoughts right now control my mind. 

Thank you for the understanding. 

Parents

  • Almost everything I know about gay culture is second hand information… the rest 3rd hand. So take my advice with a pinch of salt. But I hear it’s a lot easier for gay men to get casual sex than a serious relationship. Grindr seems to be the goto app for that. On Grindr it really is as easy as directly asking for sex a lot of the time. If you want to make gay friends one of whom might become a boy friend you’ll need to go to gay hang outs. Things like gay bars etc. And start socialising, as hard as you find that. The questions you will need to ask are less ‘would you like to have sex?’ And more like ‘would you like to go get coffee?’ Or ‘can I have your phone number?’

    the path you are looking at is 

    get people to talk to you in place people hook up -> get them to go some place with you 1 on 1 -> get them into bed.

    And at some point towards the end of that process ask if you are now officially ‘dating’ to make sure you’re on the same page.

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  • Almost everything I know about gay culture is second hand information… the rest 3rd hand. So take my advice with a pinch of salt. But I hear it’s a lot easier for gay men to get casual sex than a serious relationship. Grindr seems to be the goto app for that. On Grindr it really is as easy as directly asking for sex a lot of the time. If you want to make gay friends one of whom might become a boy friend you’ll need to go to gay hang outs. Things like gay bars etc. And start socialising, as hard as you find that. The questions you will need to ask are less ‘would you like to have sex?’ And more like ‘would you like to go get coffee?’ Or ‘can I have your phone number?’

    the path you are looking at is 

    get people to talk to you in place people hook up -> get them to go some place with you 1 on 1 -> get them into bed.

    And at some point towards the end of that process ask if you are now officially ‘dating’ to make sure you’re on the same page.

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