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It's Not Cool To be Autistic

NAS61891

I've heard over the years people who claim to be autistic saying that they like their autism, and that there's a certain coolness about being an "Aspie."  It holds advantages over being neurotypical.  They wouldn't swap.  It's almost a boast.  I've never understood this. 

I'm on the spectrum and diagnosed as high-functioning.  I hold down a decent job, and have done so for many years.  However, I've seen my colleagues be promoted past me and had to accept the situation because of my social interaction and communication challenges.  Work has never been easy, and every day has been a challenge, and I long for retirement, when I won't have to interact with people.  When I reflect back on my life and recall the missed opportunities in terms of personal relationships, and friendships, the unhappiness at attending what should be fun social events, the meltdowns, the stimming; how can anyone want this situation?

I've now recently learnt that my grandson is autistic, not high-functioning and probably non-verbal.  It will be a challenge for him for the rest of his life, and for those who care for him.  I also now have a further issue to deal with in that I can't help thinking that I'm possibly the reason he's autistic.

In no way, shape or form is it, or could it ever be cool.  

Parents

  • Being autistic only looks cool to NTs from a distance and even then only for those autistic people of average / above average intelligence.

    if you’re marching to the beat of your own drum, maybe pursuing a career aligned with your special interests, it might look glamorous from a distance. People don’t see the struggle and social isolation. They prefer to see quiet people sat on their own as strong and independent rather than lonely and anxious. Especially if they can get by interacting with people under certain situations like work etc.

    Still I think most autistic people are most happy when they stop being anxious and find a place where they can throw themselves into social situations with out self consciousness... however to many NTs this is more likely to look like obnoxiousness than coolness.

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  • Being autistic only looks cool to NTs from a distance and even then only for those autistic people of average / above average intelligence.

    if you’re marching to the beat of your own drum, maybe pursuing a career aligned with your special interests, it might look glamorous from a distance. People don’t see the struggle and social isolation. They prefer to see quiet people sat on their own as strong and independent rather than lonely and anxious. Especially if they can get by interacting with people under certain situations like work etc.

    Still I think most autistic people are most happy when they stop being anxious and find a place where they can throw themselves into social situations with out self consciousness... however to many NTs this is more likely to look like obnoxiousness than coolness.

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