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A very worried mother

NAS74580

I have a daughter who is turning 8 tomorrow. She has non verbal autism. 

I am very worried about her future. She is very reliant on me. Sometimes she can be without me as long as her older sister is with her. 

She doesn't show any interest in anything. For her birthday tomorrow I got her a ukulele. Just to see if it would spark an interest. 

She seems comfortable in doing her own thing but I cannot help and wonder is she really ok doing her own thing? Does she want to interact with other children? She has 3 siblings. Two older and one younger sibling. Her sister is very supportive of her and does try to include her in things. Other time I find it unfair to ask her sister to always be there for her because she has her own interests. 

There have been times when children would talk to my daughter only to walk away because she cannot communicate back. This breaks me deeply. There was a time where I showed the children how to interact with her and that was just by showing my daughter of a game they could play. My daughter became so happy at being able to play with other children. And that was just one time. 

I have already accepted that I will be her main carer for life. I am terrified how she be if I'm not around anymore. I know this way off but can't help to think. 

Can please someone give me a little of their experiences with non verbal autistic children and how have things turned out when they are older. 

Thank you 

  • Found this article! https://ndlabour.co.uk/2021/08/15/emma-and-ben-non-speaking-autistics-answer-our-questions/?fbclid=IwAR0OmyHDBcLJRSejZEFaNqwV3jyw-XsRtuwGqc4ivJN-ADW1zKMLmRgzTCw

    I wonder if there are other non-speaking autistic children she can interact with. I once heard someone say it was "much better to be alone than to be around others who made you wish you were." And I can relate. I'm in my 40's and incredibly introverted. I work in a Post Production situation, and many in this field don't really need to speak to anyone direct. Music is a brilliant form of communication as well. Along with the art of coding software or building structures. I prefer to go to galleries, go shopping, to afternoon movies and to libraries alone! I also have a vivid imagination and music always playing in it. I never really feel lonely, to be honest. The world has a wealth of ideas and things to create...

    That said, I have been through a few relationships and the NT ones are exhausting and pointless. I wasn't Dx'd in youth just considered 'a mouse' (though I do speak). At some point I stopped trying too hard to fit in and found secret places in the school to cave into and decided to extract all the knowledge I could. 

    When you say she's 'doing her own thing', what does this involve?

    She could have so many choices in life and she'll never accidentally end up in a customer service role many autistic individuals abhor! She could roast coffee, curate chocolate, work in botany or immunology, she could collect samples in the arctic or programme robots. She could create blueprints or tile kitchens, clean and tend to national parks or edit films. She could compose or collect sonic geo-sounds, become an acrobat or an areal dancer... the world could really be her oyster! Watch documentaries on fungi and on aquatic life, on ancient ruins - what if she takes to interpreting ancient symbols or suddenly has a dream of digging up and preserving old bones? There are so many possibilities. Expose her to as much as you can, maybe find interesting picture books on all these different subjects at the Library. See which ones she finds the most fascinating?

  • Hi NAS74580,

    Thank you for sharing this with our community.

    While we are waiting for the community to respond, you may like to take a lot of our page about understanding and developing communication, https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/understanding-and-developing-communication

    And here are some communication tips, https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/tips

    Hope this helps.

    Kind regards,

    Eunice Mod