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Advise for myself

NAS74545

Hello everyone,

My name is Char and I'm 28, I have recently had a positive autism screening. However, i have suspected I had ASD most of my life. 

Im really struggling at the moment does any body have any tips for me?

Ive been experiencing a depressive episode for one week now and I'm finding myself becoming so tired with myself. 

Ive read self help books in their droves and created so many coping mechanisms over the years and it seems I have to keep updating these mechanisms as they seem to have a short shelf life.

I take an anti depressant and I have had therapy in the past which has taught me valuable lessons. 

Im currently unemployed but I have been working on a small business idea and I'm finally learning to drive. 

I feel as though my life isn't going so bad from the outside but I'm getting so overwhelmed. Some days I'm much better but I know pushing myself to go for a walk or something may help and I'll get ready with every intention of doing so but I can't physically leave the house, I get inundated with thoughts like what is the point? Where are you going? There is no aim in "going for a walk" and it will debilitate me entirely. 

I feel like a real waste of space. I've created my world to be such a small and safe space that it is not sustainable for the long term. 

I have one close friend but not a person I can truly open up to. I am missing people from my past who I could talk to this way so much I can't seem to wrap my head around the changes. For example I had friends who I thought would be with me till I die and we have drifted but my mind and heart is so gutted about it that I can't quite come to terms with it. 

My thoughts are racing alot and as a repurcussion feels like they are physically disabling me.

I know that the only person who can help you and fix things for you is yourself, but at the rate of which I am so up and down sometimes, that thought alone terrifies me, like what if I can't do that?

I'm really sorry if this is the wrong sort of place to talk about this stuff Im just wondering if you guys can relate or have any tips or success stories to give me some help?

Thank you if you have taken the time to read this,

Char 

  • Hello Char,

    I often invent reasons to go outside the house - maybe you could walk to the shop to get a specific item, or pay a visit to a specific tree? It sounds like having a tangible goal / real destination would be beneficial. 

    You say you are on medication currently - if you have noticed your mood has dropped this significantly over the last week, I think your first port of call should probably be your GP. I've been on antidepressants for a while and have tried a few different types and dosages - it might be as simple as just tweaking how much you are on. 

    A lot of self help things are written by and for neurotypicals, which might be why strategies don't tend to be useful long term. Your words about being really up and down resonate with me - I find it so scary. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a quick fix! You are not alone, please don't forget that!

  • Hi Char. I can relate big time with the overthinking. I go to do something (like go to the supermarket, something simple) then I get a million thoughts, like:

    Have I got a list? Have I written everything on it? Is what I plan to buy bad for me? Or the environment?

    It's pretty tiring. I get round it by positive self talk, like

    If I forget something, no big deal, it's ok to have some junk food, just not too much, you can't fix the environmental disaster alone, Dzien.

    It helps.