Autism-Shaming: Is camouflaging an obligation or a choice?

Many autistic people describe camouflaging as an obligation, rather than a choice.‘ Camouflagingis a term used to describe behaviours that hide or mask aspects of oneself from others, or to ‘pass’ as 'neurotypical' in everyday social interactions (Hull et al. 2017). It is particularly prominent in social situations, where it has come to be called ‘social camouflaging’. One recent study (Cage & Troxell-Whitman, 2019) revealed that 70% of autistic adults reported that they consistently camouflage.  Do things need to change?  Are we to blame? Or are neurotypicals to blame? Is there a solution, or are we doomed to our attempts to conform to neurotypical conventions? Have we no other choice other than to continue to apologise for being autistic? How many times have you apologised for your autistic behaviour? How often do you seek the approval of neurotypicals by camouflaging your autism so as to fit in with them? How many times have you been autism-shamed by neurotypicals, or worse by other neurodivergents?

Parents
  • I went in for a lot of mimicking behaviour as a kid. It turned out not to be a great idea as the masking didn’t integrate well enough to completely disguise my atypicality, and I’d be seen as a slightly eccentric nerd who perhaps was trying too hard rather than instinctively, easily, comfortably fitting in. And it would still result in social exclusion.

    Now, decades later, I don’t try or care, and certainly don’t feel obligated to hide the diversity. 

Reply
  • I went in for a lot of mimicking behaviour as a kid. It turned out not to be a great idea as the masking didn’t integrate well enough to completely disguise my atypicality, and I’d be seen as a slightly eccentric nerd who perhaps was trying too hard rather than instinctively, easily, comfortably fitting in. And it would still result in social exclusion.

    Now, decades later, I don’t try or care, and certainly don’t feel obligated to hide the diversity. 

Children
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