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Being Nonverbal (I think?)

Forest

Hi! I've been thinking about my experiences and realizing that I have no idea if I'm using the "right" vocabularly to describe them because while I certainly know other autistic people through nerd circles on the internet, I haven't really talked in depth with anyone about our internal experiences and I only really have the narratives told by allistic people about autistic people to go off of.

So like, I think I'm sometimes nonverbal? It's not that I can't talk when I feel this way, or that I won't talk if I need to or feel like it's worth it, it's just that sometimes when I'm tired or overstimulated talking just feels uncomfortable. Not painful really, just gross. Like my voice is too loud and I can feel all the muscles moving in an overly strong and disgustingly organic way. Not very much fun really. But I don't know if this counts as being nonverbal because as I said it's not like I can't talk. I just don't want to in the same sense as I don't want to lift heavy things when my arms are sore.

Anyway now that I'm in a living situation where I don't just have to push through these things and can instead reflect on them and try and find ways to interact with the world that feel natural to me (I might be watching cartoons with one of my roommates later! Without any expectation to talk!!!) I've been reflecting on these things.

I guess my main questions are is what I just described being nonverbal? What are other people's experiences with this sort of thing? I'd love to just "hear" people "talk" about their experiences with being nonverbal, since I haven't ever heard them before.

  • What you have mentioned is anxiety or overestimated induced selective mutism which isn't a form on being non verbal.

    Non verbal can manifest in different ways and can happen to those with the ability to talk however its more about the actual difficulty in speaking when going through an episode of being non verbal. some induvial who can speak who go through episodes of being non verbal when stressed or overstimulated will often have problems pronouncing sounds and words and will often get to stage where it just becomes a grown or a random noise and typically the more intelligent you are the more likely you will choose not to talk until you regain the ability to speak again. sometimes a precursor to episode of being non verbal is stuttering.

    during and after I have meltdowns I loose my ability to speak or form sentences, it like my brain has crashed and forgets how to pronounce words and I have been  called high functioning before (hate that term). it can take a while for me to be able to speak again. my longest episode of being non verbal was two days but that was after a massive mental breakdown. 

  • in reply to Forest

    I had to take a proper class to learn sign language, I couldn’t pick it up so well teaching myself I could sign lots of random words but not have a conversation. But now I have been taught  Level 1 BSL at a sign language school  I find the problem is that I don’t really know anyone else who knows it! So if you do pursue it as a communication tool make sure someone else learns it with you!

  • in reply to Forest

    i know it surprised me as well ! Slight smile

  • in reply to aidie

    I mean, usually I talk. A lot of the time I'm very talkative in fact, and I even do a bit of amateur voice acting because it's fun! But when I do end up "feeling nonverbal" I don't really have a way of communicating outside of body language or text. I've tried teaching myself sign language but I wasn't able to stick with it. I think I'd need to take a class to learn it, which is a little frustrating.

    But anyway looking at the second link you posted, it looks like I do fit the definition for nonspeaking autism! I was under the impression that it was an "all the time thing" not something that someone could experience just sometimes.

  • In short, and i didnt know this

    "Nonspeaking autism is not a distinct diagnosis"

    do u use sign language like Makathon ?

  • if you are not u are very close ---- i am literally looking up the definition because i just have never thought about it 

    www.healthline.com/.../nonverbal-autism

    www.medicalnewstoday.com/.../non-verbal-autism